Confabulation and the Stories We Tell Ourselves

We Lie! We lie to ourselves. We’re not consciously evil or deceiving; but we lie. We create stories to fit the feelings, missing broader complex happenings. Biases, destructive choices, and illogical action occurs behind our deceptions. We can expose these lies, pluck out their destructive impacts and flourish; but this takes strenuous effort. So, we just continue in the self deception. In psychology, we refer to creating these stories as confabulation.

We interchangeably use ‘feelings’ and ’emotions’ when describing felt experience. Emotions are constructions infused with meaning derived from experience, culture and language. Felt experience—feelings—are internal biological shifts that motivate action or stimulate thought. Emotions, although a complex construction, operate in the clandestine shadows of unconsciousness, pull information from memories and create explanations. We detect shifts in our biological mechanics and the mind goes to work, creating reasons and illuminating causes.

What are Confabulations?

Marianna Bergamaschi explained in a 2020 paper that confabulations are “mostly telling a normative story: they are arguments primarily offered to justify one’s attitudes, and they are produced by our argumentative reasoning mechanism driven by the biological goal of presenting ourselves as good reasoners and as reliable sources of information” (Bergamaschi, 2020).

We confabulate, providing a reasonable explanation for an emotional reaction. The mind graciously creates meaning, labels and associating causes. Hidden feelings may wreak havoc on our lives. From the blindness, we become subjects serving the unknown biological kings of our soul. We act as we are programmed to act and then soften the unreasonable with well constructed confabulations.

Emotions Motivate Action

Invisible motivators ruthlessly dictate thoughts and behaviors pushing us down destructive paths. Because the feelings motivating action are unseen, we don’t skeptically examine their involvement. Emotions, as sometimes described, are not always guiding gems of wisdom—although they may be. Emotional reactions are learned. Past experience, especially when traumatic, scars and molds the emotions.

​Our reactions flow from experience; living meanings written on our souls. These codes largely determine reactions. Violent inner-city ghettos, upper-class communities, or riotous unpredictable homes form the emotional system—implicit forces unseen and unaccounted for.

When poor behaviors (motivated by those unseen codes) beget painful misfortunes, we conveniently blame outside causes (they’re salient and available). Reasons outside personal responsibility soothe the ego; by formulating explanations and claiming victimhood, we achieve momentary escape (Murphy, 2023).

Terry J Prociuk and Lawrence J. Breen explain:

“Externalizers adopt an external locus of control as a defense mechanism. “The rationale behind this concept is that attributing reinforcement control to forces outside of himself, the individual is freed from the responsibility for outcomes of his own behavior and is thus relieved of the personal threat that those outcomes may incur” (Prociuk & Breen, 1975).

Our blindness, however, doesn’t protect from consequences. Behaviors invite consequences.

Confabulations Damage Futures and Injure Relationships

Justifications simply offer a momentary mirage, protecting from the harshness of condemnation (guilt, sorrow and shame) by softening judgments. Overtime, we still suffer, consequences are independent of justifying causes. Others tire of our dodging of responsibility.

​We damage important relationships, limiting supporting forces. The ill-contrived behaviors leave a mark on our futures and, we establish destructive patterns of justification and blame, destroying trust, weakening relationships and burning the glorious bridges essential for recovery.

The new predicaments of a broken soul accumulate. The consequences multiply, further complicating their lives. The obvious answer is to address the original sins that started the downward spiral. But this obvious answer isn’t that obvious, concealed under layers of multiplying justifications. Consequently, self deceit is a deep hole. A search begins to find new roads for need fulfillment without confronting the deep and complex web of lies.

Self Dishonesty

​Dishonesty and manipulation become the tools to satisfy unmet needs, further alienating friends, family and community. Chaos triumphs, confusing action, and disrupting futures and effective choice. A life without emotional guidance burdens the lost soul —they possess a compass that no longer points to magnetic north. Detached from emotion, they must scuttle through the darkness operating by reason alone. Their confabulations masterly hide reality and destroy futures.

While sometimes these behaviors are mean-spirited and hateful, often we begin with benign undetected confabulations—the automatic reasons we use to explain underlying flows of feeling. The story smoothly adapts new experience into a faulty framework of protecting beliefs.

​The confabulations create security by not disrupting positive images of the self. But unchecked the stories of the mind become the foundation of destroying deceptions, deceiving ourselves and others. We ruthlessly accuse society, family and significant others as the cause of personal failure. Safely moving responsibility of action into the court of others where we have no control.

If a person believes they are courageous, then their cowardice acts are justified, excusing the shameful deeds to external causes. Self-explorations (often aided with guidance from a professional) expose hidden memories, and misguided confabulations that motivate action.

Identifying and Challenging Confabulations

Accepting that confabulations are a figment of the protective mind, instead of an infallible reality, invites thoughtful challenges to their validity. We can discredit the ego-protecting justifications and be empowered to change. From a wider perspective, we then can address underlying problems that propel our lives in undesired directions.

Consciously recognizing the emotional reactions, investigating the beliefs provoking those emotions, and then purposely challenging destructive actions is the path to freedom, loosening the chains holding us back. We can escape these painful patterns, interfering with growth and blocking hopeful intentions.

Associated Concepts

• Self-Deception: This cognitive function refers to the process of denying or rationalizing away the relevance, significance, or importance of opposing evidence and logical argument. It involves convincing oneself of a belief, idea, or situation that is contrary to one’s own better judgment.
• Projection: This cognitive practice involves projecting undesirable individual attributes and unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or characteristics onto someone else. Moreover, it also includes projecting one’s own undesirable impulses, motivations, or traits onto another person, often without conscious awareness.
• Attribution Theory: People attribute their own undesirable characteristics, impulses, or feelings to others to avoid acknowledging them in themselves.
• Blame: This practice involves attributing one’s own undesirable thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to someone else. This deflection helps the individual avoid confronting their own shortcomings or guilt by shifting responsibility onto others.
• Availability Bias: This is a cognitive heuristic, significantly influences decision-making by causing individuals to base judgments on easily accessible or recent information, often leading to inaccurate assessments of event probability, risk, or importance.
• Moral Justification: This is a psychological process where individuals rationalize harmful or unethical behavior by framing it as morally justifiable.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

Confabulation, in essence, represents a subtle form of self-deception. We often construct narratives that shield us from uncomfortable truths, allowing us to avoid taking responsibility for our actions and their consequences. These fabricated stories, however, can have detrimental effects, hindering personal growth and damaging our relationships. By becoming more aware of our tendency to confabulate, we can begin to challenge these self-serving narratives. This critical self-reflection allows us to confront our true motivations and understand the underlying emotional drivers of our behaviors.

Ultimately, recognizing and challenging these self-deceptions can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and healing. By acknowledging our true motivations and taking responsibility for our choices, we can break free from destructive patterns and cultivate more authentic and fulfilling relationships with ourselves and others. This journey of self-discovery requires courage and honesty, but the rewards—greater self-awareness, deeper emotional understanding, and a more genuine connection to ourselves—make it a worthwhile endeavor.

Last Update: November 14, 2025

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The information provided in this blog is for general informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. It is essential to consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns or before making any significant changes to your lifestyle or treatment plan.