Actions for Happiness

Blaise Pascal proposed “all men seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. The will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every man, even of those who hang themselves” (Pascal, 1950).

Every action is motivated by our desire for happiness. One could also say that every inaction is also motivated towards this end. However, happiness often requires change. We must employ behaviors now that positively impact the future.

Change Hurts

Change arouses discomfort. Sameness beckons loudly. A better life is on the other side of the desert of long intentional effort. the process includes falling, scraping our knees, doubting our skills, and perhaps suffering unintended losses. On the other hand, planning for change can be very joyous. The beauties of a better life dance in our heads with little requirements.

Planning is an essential first step for change, but eventually we must leave the comforts of our imaginary world and begin the work.

Kashdan and Biswas-Diener in their powerful book The Upside of Your Dark Side put it this way:

“Unless you open yourself to unwelcome negative feelings, you will miss out on important opportunities to wield some of life’s most useful tools. If you fall prey to the temptation to constantly search for something positive to grab on to in hopes of eliminating, hiding, or concealing negative emotions, you will lose in the game of life. You cannot get rid of the negative emotions without unintentionally squelching happiness, meaning, grit, curiosity, maturity, wisdom, and personal growth. Choose to numb the negatives and you numb the positives too” (Kashdan & Biswas-Diener, 2015).

Harriet Lerner wrote:

“Two things will never change: the will to change and the fear of change. Both are essential to our well-being and to the preservation of our relationships. We all move back and forth between our desire to learn, risk, experiment, and grow—and our anxiety about doing so. Change brings loss in its wake, even when it’s a change we truly and deeply want to make” (Lerner, 2005).

Procrastinating Action

Life changes are not accomplished through the flick of a switch. We can’t turn the lights on to a new day, boastfully waving goodbye to the darkness of our past. We arrive at each moment with a lot of baggage from the past. Our patterns of thinking, feeling, and reacting are deeply entrenched into our being. They are intricately have interacted with the past creating the present moment we currently inhabit. Even if we decide the present is unbearable, we still have the foundation of thinking, feeling, and reacting that will continue significantly interfere with life changes.

We think of the life we want, imagine how different things will be, but then procrastinate taking action. Perhaps, this is because we just do not want to attempt change and fail.

Reasons why people might avoid taking action to change

• Fear of Failure: The fear of not succeeding can be a powerful deterrent to change. This fear can lead to feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and avoidance.
• Overwhelm: When faced with a large or complex task, individuals may feel overwhelmed and unable to take action. This can lead to procrastination as a way to avoid the discomfort of feeling overwhelmed.
• Lack of Motivation: A lack of motivation can make it difficult to initiate or sustain change. This may be due to a lack of intrinsic interest in the goal, or to external factors that make it difficult to prioritize change.
• Perfectionism: People who strive for perfection may be hesitant to take action because they fear making mistakes or not achieving the ideal outcome. This can lead to a cycle of procrastination and avoidance.
• Lack of Support: Having a strong support network can be crucial for successful change. Without support, individuals may feel isolated and discouraged, making it more difficult to take action.

Understanding these psychological factors can help individuals identify and address the underlying reasons for their procrastination and take steps towards making positive changes in their lives.

Thinking As a Distraction

Thinking entertains, distracting burdensome thoughts away from our wretched life, but thoughts alone do not create the escape from poverty, unless, of course, we act on the thoughts. Change requires action. We must rebuild the nexus between current behaviors and desired destinations, changing course when the current charted voyage continues to lead to the same disappointing ends.

Promised destinations never materialize in the mind. Life changes demand action. We don’t move until we take the steps. This is frightening. We must process the swings and collisions always encountered when moving from the familiar into the unfamiliar. We can’t imagine away every obstacle. Movement exposes the unforeseen challenges only after we enter new landscapes, engage with new people, and discover new requirements.

Associated Concepts

• Procrastination: This refers to the pattern of delaying action to perform some behavior we believe we need to perform. In the context of change, it refers to delaying the first few steps necessary to begin the process.
• Sameness: This refers to to the invisible pull to maintain current circumstances, along with all the limitations, in place in our lives. It is a type of stagnation, enjoying the comfort of the same instead of the uncomfortable feeling associated with change and growth.
• Self-Efficacy: This refers to an individual’s belief in their ability to accomplish specific tasks and achieve goals. It plays a significant role in determining the level of motivation, effort, and perseverance a person puts into various activities.
• Self-Regulation: This involves controlling one’s behavior, emotions, and thoughts in pursuit of long-term goals. Self-efficacy influences self-regulation by affecting how individuals set goals, monitor progress, and persist in the face of challenges.
• Locus of Control: This concept refers to the degree to which people believe they have control over the outcomes of events in their lives. Individuals with a high internal locus of control often have higher self-efficacy because they believe their actions directly impact their success.
• Resistance to Change: We have a natural inclination to resist change. Understanding the discomfort and anxiety associated with change is crucial for successful adaptation and personal growth.
• Stages of Change: This refers to a series of stages that individuals may go through when making a significant behavior change.
• Persistence: This refers to the ability to continue working towards a goal despite encountering obstacles, setbacks, or difficulties. It involves maintaining effort and focusing on the task at hand, even when faced with challenges.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

Embracing the challenges that come with new experiences opens doors to abundant opportunities and a more fulfilling existence. In this space of transformation, we engage in the actions essential for meaningful change. To enhance our lives, it is crucial to recognize that change demands proactive steps.

So dream boldly, but remember that true success cannot be attained by remaining stagnant. It’s time to take decisive action, confront uncertainties, and push through any obstacles you may encounter. Step into the next chapter of your journey—the phase where doing takes precedence over merely thinking.

Last Updated: December 19, 2025

References:

Kashdan, Todd, Biswas-Diener, Robert (2015) The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment. Plume; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 0147516447
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Lerner, Harriet (2005). The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self. ‎Perennial Currents; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 0060081589
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Pascal, Blaise (1950). Pensées. ISBN-13: 978-0140446456
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