The Impact of Emotional Dissonance on Well-being

In the intricate and fascinating dimensions of human emotions, not all is as it seems on the surface. Beneath the smiles that greet customers and the calm demeanor of professionals in crisis lies a complex psychological phenomenon known as emotional dissonance. This silent struggle represents the chasm between the emotions we genuinely feel and those we are compelled to display due to societal or occupational expectations. As we navigate through the demands of modern life, emotional dissonance emerges as an invisible labor, often overlooked yet deeply impactful on our psychological well-being. This article delves into the heart of emotional dissonance, exploring its nuances, the toll it takes on individuals, and the ways in which we can reconcile our inner emotional reality with the roles we play in the outer world.

Basics of Emotional Dissonance

Emotional dissonance is a psychological concept that refers to the conflict or discrepancy between the emotions people feel and the emotions they believe they should feel or express in a given situation. This can occur in various contexts, such as in the workplace or in social interactions, where there are explicit or implicit rules about the appropriate emotional responses.

Research is pretty clear, dissonance creates stress. We experience conflicting forces in many areas of life. Our behaviors may not be in alignment with our beliefs and values. This creates dissonance. Our past may not be in alignment with our concept of self. This creates dissonance. And notably, our emotional expressions may not be in alignment with our felt experience. This also creates dissonance.

These conflicting aspects of our lives create a perpetual stress which often culminates in physically harmful ways.

Levels of Emotion

We often refer to emotion in a universal way. However, emotion has multiple dimensions. Our bodies react to stimuli through a feeling affect, we physically express the feeling affect through posture, facial expression, and movements, and we cognitively define the experience. When these three elements are in agreement, we experience emotional congruence. When they are out of alignment we experience dissonance.

The psychologist Ross Buck distinguishes suggests that there are three levels of emotional responses. He simply refers to them as Emotion I, Emotion II and Emotion III. Gabor Maté wrote that Emotion III “is the subjective experience, from within oneself. It is how we feel. In the experience of Emotion III there is conscious awareness of an emotional state, such as anger or joy or fear, and its accompanying bodily sensations.”

Maté defines Emotion II as comprised of “our emotional displays as seen by others, with or without our awareness. It is signaled through body language—non-verbal signals, mannerisms, tones of voices, gestures, facial expressions, brief touches, and even the timing of events and pauses between words.” And Emotion I is the activation of the sympathetic nervous system and the subsequent physiological changes triggered by emotional stimuli that prepare an organism for fight or flight (Maté, 2008).

When the three levels of emotions are in dissonance, the dissonance creates confusion and stress.

Cognitive Dissonance and Emotional Dissonance

To best understand emotional dissonance, we should re-acquaint ourselves with Leon Festinger’s influential theory of cognitive dissonance.

Emotional dissonance and cognitive dissonance are related concepts that describe the discomfort experienced when there’s a mismatch between internal experiences and external expectations or beliefs. In many ways, emotional dissonance is a subcategory of the broader topic of cognitive dissonance. However, the two theories focus on different aspects of our internal states and how we reconcile them with our actions or societal norms.

Emotional Dissonance Focuses on:

• Focus: The conflict between felt emotions and expected emotions.
• Context: Often discussed in relation to emotional labor in the workplace, where there’s a need to express emotions that are not genuinely felt, leading to stress and burnout

Cognitive Dissonance Focuses on:

• Focus: The conflict between beliefs, attitudes, or behaviors.
• Theory: Introduced by Leon Festinger, it suggests that we have an inner drive to hold all our attitudes and beliefs in harmony and avoid disharmony (or dissonance) (Festinger, 1957).
• Resolution: People tend to resolve cognitive dissonance by changing their beliefs or justifying their behaviors to reduce the psychological discomfort.

See Cognitive Dissonance for more on this theory

The Relationship Between the Two Can be Understood as Follows:

• Emotional Dissonance can lead to Cognitive Dissonance when the act of faking or suppressing emotions conflicts with one’s self-image or values. For example, a person who values authenticity may experience cognitive dissonance if their job requires them to frequently engage in surface acting.
• Conversely, Cognitive Dissonance can give rise to Emotional Dissonance when the discomfort from holding conflicting beliefs affects one’s emotional state. For instance, if someone believes they are a kind person but acts harshly in a situation, they may feel emotional dissonance due to the inconsistency between their self-concept and behavior.

Both types of dissonance can lead to psychological stress and motivate individuals to find a way to reduce the dissonance, either by changing their internal state or by rationalizing their external expressions to align with their internal beliefs and emotions. Understanding these concepts is crucial for recognizing the impact of dissonance on mental health and developing strategies to cope with it.

Expression of Emotion

An underlying theme of emotional dissonance is that expressing emotion is healthy. When we experience a feeling affect and suppress it, we create a tension which overtime may evolve into psychological or physical disorders. markedly, there are times when suppression is appropriate. However, we should suppress with the knowledge that too much suppression or over too long of a period has consequences. We must balance our emotional suppressions with our ability to do so.

Examples of Appropriate Suppression of Emotion

An example of appropriate suppression of emotion might occur in a professional setting where maintaining composure is necessary despite personal feelings. For instance, a doctor delivering difficult news to a patient may need to suppress their own sadness to provide support and maintain a calm environment.

Another example could be during a crisis situation, such as in military or emergency services, where personnel may need to suppress fear or panic to perform their duties effectively and ensure the safety of others.

In personal contexts, one might suppress disappointment or frustration during a friend’s moment of distress to offer them support. For example, you may be upset that your date didn’t text you back, but you choose to suppress your feelings to be present for a friend who is grieving the loss of a loved one.

While suppression can be useful in certain situations, it’s generally recommended to find healthy ways to process emotions rather than suppressing them long-term, as chronic suppression can lead to negative psychological and physical health outcomes. It’s about finding the balance between expressing emotions and managing them appropriately in different contexts.

Repression of Emotion

Less adaptive is the repression of emotion. Repression is considered a defense mechanism and is often employed unconsciously. In repression, past experience often supported withholding honest expression of emotion. Eventually, the practice of suppression is internalized leading to repression. “A child whose parents punish or inhibit this acting-out of emotion will be conditioned to respond to similar emotions in the future by repression. The self-shutdown serves to prevent shame and rejection” (Maté, 2008).

Additional Concepts of Emotional Dissonance

Inner Feelings vs. Outer Expectations

Inner feelings and outer expectations are key concepts in the emotional dissonance theory, a psychological framework that explores the conflict between one’s true emotions and the emotions they display to conform to societal or organizational norms.

In psychology, we define Inner feelings as an individual’s genuine emotions, thoughts, and attitudes towards a particular situation or experience. these correspond with Buck’s level III emotions. These inner feelings are subjective and may not always align with what is expected or socially acceptable. For example, someone may feel angry or frustrated about a task at work but have to act cheerful and positive due to workplace norms.

On the other hand, outer expectations are external pressures or demands placed on individuals by society, organizations, or interpersonal relationships to display specific emotions regardless of their true feelings. This could include smiling during customer service interactions even when feeling upset or pretending to be interested in a conversation when feeling bored.

Emotional dissonance occurs when there is a discrepancy between one’s inner feelings and outer expectations. This can lead to psychological distress, exhaustion, burnout, and other negative consequences as individuals navigate the tension between authentic self-expression and social conformity.

Discomfort

Even though suppression of emotion may be essential for some social interactions, the dissonance between the feeling affects and the expression enhance the discomfort, draining personal resources to continue to present a different emotion than internally is experienced.

Surface Acting and Deep Acting

Surface acting and deep acting are two strategies that individuals use to manage emotional dissonance, which arises from the conflict between inner feelings and outer expectations. These concepts are central to emotional labor theory, which examines the effort required to display specific emotions in social interactions.

Surface acting involves suppressing or faking one’s true emotions by displaying expressions that are incongruent with how one genuinely feels. This can include forcing a smile, feigning interest, or pretending to be enthusiastic despite feeling differently inside. Surface acting focuses on changing outward behaviors without necessarily addressing underlying emotions.

Deep acting, on the other hand, involves aligning one’s inner feelings with external displays of emotion through genuine emotional engagement and expression. Instead of simply masking their true emotions, individuals practicing deep acting strive to authentically experience the desired emotion by shifting their thoughts and perspectives. This approach requires individuals to connect with their genuine emotions and beliefs in order to express them convincingly.

While surface acting may help individuals meet immediate social or organizational expectations, it can lead to emotional exhaustion, decreased job satisfaction, and burnout over time due to the disconnect between authentic feelings and displayed emotions. In contrast, deep acting is considered a more adaptive strategy as it fosters emotional authenticity and alignment between inner experiences and outward expressions, potentially leading to greater well-being and job performance.

Impact of Emotional Dissonance

Research shows that emotional dissonance is positively correlated with emotional exhaustion and depersonalization and negatively correlated with personal accomplishment (Pelt, Barbier, & Fointiat, 2018). However, there is a much greater consequence of excessive emotional dissonance. It may lead to psychological disorders and disease. Mate explains that disease is “disharmony.” He adds that it is “an expression of an internal disharmony” (Maté, 2008).

The underlying concept of the association between stress and illness is through the body’s biological response to threats. Bessel van der Kolk explains that when the amygdala senses a threat “it sends an instant message down to the hypothalamus and the brain stem, recruiting the stress-hormone system and the autonomic nervous system (ANS) to orchestrate a whole-body response” (van der Kolk, 2015).

We construct concepts of fear and anger from these hormonal messengers. They are protective reactions. The act of suppressing them is a significant counter response flowing from the prefrontal cortex. The entire process creates strain, preventing the stress response from completing its cycle and returning the body to a homeostatic balance. Consequently, repeated and extended suppressions weaken the body creating a greater vulnerability to disease.

See Allostatic Load for more on this topic

Emotional Regulation and Emotional Dissonance

Emotional regulation plays a crucial role in navigating emotional dissonance, which arises from the conflict between inner feelings and outer expectations. Basically, emotional regulation refers to the process by which individuals monitor, evaluate, and modify their emotions in order to meet situational demands and achieve personal goals.

In the context of emotional dissonance, effective emotional regulation strategies can help individuals manage conflicting emotions while maintaining a sense of authenticity and psychological well-being.

Emotional Regulatory Responses Emotional Dissonance

• Awareness: Being aware of one’s own emotions, triggers, and reactions is essential for effectively managing emotional dissonance. By cultivating self-awareness through mindfulness practices or reflection exercises, individuals can better understand their genuine feelings and how they may differ from external expectations.
• Expression: Choosing how to express emotions in response to internal conflicts is a key aspect of emotional regulation in the face of emotional dissonance. Individuals can decide whether to engage in surface acting (masking true feelings) or deep acting (aligning inner experiences with outward displays) based on their understanding of the situation and its potential impact on their well-being.
• Coping strategies: Developing healthy coping mechanisms such as seeking social support, engaging in relaxation techniques, or practicing cognitive reframing can help individuals cope with the stressors associated with emotional dissonance. These strategies enable individuals to regulate their emotions constructively rather than resorting to maladaptive behaviors like avoidance or suppression.
• Boundary setting: Establishing boundaries around one’s emotional labor – the effort required to display specific emotions – is another important aspect of emotional regulation in contexts where external expectations may conflict with internal feelings. Setting clear boundaries helps individuals protect their mental health and establish limits on how much they are willing to accommodate others’ demands.

By honing their skills in emotional regulation within the framework of managing emotional dissonance, individuals can enhance their resilience, interpersonal relationships, and overall well-being amidst complex social interactions that require navigating conflicting expectations and authentic self-expression.

See Emotional Regulation for more on this topic

Associated Concepts

• Emotional Labor: The process of managing feelings and expressions to fulfill the emotional requirements of a job.
• Cognitive Dissonance: The mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.
• Self-Monitoring: The extent to which people are sensitive to the social and expressive demands of situations and accordingly adjust their behaviors.
• Secondary Trauma: This condition, also known as secondary trauma or vicarious trauma, occurs when an individual experiences emotional distress after being indirectly exposed to another person’s traumatic experiences. This often happens through hearing detailed accounts or witnessing the aftermath of trauma.
• Identity Threat: The feeling of unease that occurs when an emotional experience is perceived as a threat to one’s identity.
• Surface Acting and Deep Acting: Techniques used in emotional labor; surface acting involves faking the appropriate emotion, while deep acting involves trying to feel the emotion one is displaying.
• Stress and Coping Theory: How individuals manage the internal conflict caused by emotional dissonance and the strategies they use to cope with the stress it can cause.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

In the dance of daily life, where the rhythm is often dictated by roles and expectations, emotional dissonance plays its silent tune. As we’ve explored, the discord between our inner feelings and the emotions we display can be a source of stress and strain, yet it also offers a window into the resilience of the human spirit. It is through understanding and acknowledging this inner conflict that we can begin to harmonize our emotional experiences with the parts we play in society.

By fostering environments that allow for genuine emotional expression and by developing robust emotion regulation strategies, we can mitigate the effects of emotional dissonance and lead more authentic, fulfilling lives. As we close this discussion, let us remember that the authenticity of our emotions is a cornerstone of our well-being, and honoring this truth is the key to not just surviving but thriving in the complex emotional landscapes we navigate.

Last Update: August 25, 2025

References:

Cancino-Montecinos, S., Björklund, F., & Lindholm, T. (2020). A general model of dissonance reduction: Unifying past accounts via an emotion regulation perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, Article 540081. DOI: 10.3389/fpsyg.2020.540081
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Festinger, Leon (1957).  A Theory of Cognitive Dissonance. Stanford University Press; Anniversary ed. edition.
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Maté, Gabor (2008). When the Body Says No. ‎Trade Paper Press; 1st edition.
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Pelt, A., Barbier, L., & Fointiat, V. (2018). Expressive dissonance: When emotional inconsistency arouses dissonance. International Review of Social Psychology, 31(1), Article 17. DOI: 10.5334/irsp.118.
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Van der Kolk, Bessel (2015). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin Books; Illustrated edition.
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