Emotionally Confused: The Effects of Unrecognized Emotions

Emotions! Bubbling, prodding and disrupting as they sometimes are, often fail to penetrate consciousness. Feeling affects push us to act in confusing ways. Emotionally confused we get off track. Unrecognized emotions influence behavior. Under the cover of darkness, feeling affects twist and turn, moving the body, responding to calls for action. Emotions, chemical changes in biological systems, motivate behavior. Whether we clearly know what we are feeling or not. Many feeling affects are small, failing to push us from our homeostatic balance enough to consciously register. The emotions lurking in the unseen world influence behavior by creating inclinations towards one action or another.

Notable limitations of the brain interfere with human flourishing. Our Bodies function—breathing, pumping blood, and metabolizing—without the aid of conscious direction. Evidently, our ancestors functioned and survived before the evolutionary arrival of consciousness. Consciousness possesses limited resources, focusing on the most salient experiences, emotional blasts of fear, anger, happiness or sorrow.

When life is painful (lost love, shame, survival struggles), we soothingly use words to proclaim victimhood, dodging responsibility. We feel some vindication for the disappointments, escaping the regret of acknowledging that our ill-conceived choice contributed to the failure. Yet, often the driving force moving the disappointing action is unseen and confusing emotions. As Spinoza puts it, “men believe themselves free because they are conscious of their own actions and ignorant of the causes by which they are determined…”

Playing Tug-of-War: Goals vs. Feelings

The pursuit of consciously set goals is often a battleground where logic and long-term vision clash with the immediate and powerful forces of our emotions. While our rational mind might clearly define a path towards a desired outcome, our emotional landscape can present significant obstacles. Fear of failure can lead to procrastination, the allure of instant gratification can derail disciplined saving, and anger can sabotage carefully planned negotiations. These emotional responses, often rooted in ingrained instincts and past experiences, can override our conscious intentions, leading to impulsive decisions and behaviors that directly contradict our stated objectives. This internal conflict can create feelings of frustration, guilt, and a sense of being at odds with ourselves, making consistent progress towards our goals a challenging endeavor.  

However, the relationship between emotions and conscious goal pursuit is not solely one of conflict. Our emotions can also serve as powerful motivators and sources of energy. Passion and excitement can fuel dedication and perseverance, while feelings of satisfaction and pride can reinforce positive behaviors and encourage continued effort.

The key lies in developing conscious awareness of our emotional states and learning effective strategies for emotional regulation. By understanding our emotional triggers and tendencies, we can proactively plan for potential pitfalls and consciously choose responses that align with our long-term goals. Ultimately, the most effective approach involves integrating our emotional experiences with our conscious intentions, harnessing the energy of our feelings while guiding them with rational thought to achieve meaningful and lasting success.

We Have Power to Direct Our Lives​

We’re not puppets to rivers of emotions motivating action without the moderation of thought—at least we don’t have to be. Biology endowed us with resources that aids us in creating change. We are empowered to change the circumstances of our lives. Our powerful cortex soaks up memories, creates a web of associations, and establishes new wisdom from each new exposure.

​We invite healthier futures by magnifying areas of control. Our destinies are not determined by unmanageable forces. The process proceeding action has complex causes; but reasoned thought exists and participates within the complexity. However, Hidden motivations dilute the purity of choices; cloaked biases lurk beneath conscious recognition influencing behaviors. We must accept these as givens of the human mind and account for their presence. Accordingly, we should stand with glorious complexity, embracing it’s magnificent with awe or get lost in the dizzying chaos of emotional confusion.

Some Confusion Always Exists

Life never is completely clear. If it appears all the answers our obvious then something is being blocked. We are missing large swatches of the cloth. We may employ rational words to hide irrational actions. However, we may think we got it figured out but in reality we are confused. When life goes well, we have a secure base where we find safety, we may create coherent meaning out of the confusion.

Michael Eigen wrote: “I doubt that the psyche is ever free of mix-up, confusion, contamination, spill-over” (Eigen, 1999).

We may never expose emotionally driven behaviors. The present may not make sense. Remnants of trauma stuck in the crevasses of our mind emotionally confuse us. We see danger where no danger exists. . The forgotten past lives on, confusing our lives. However, Occasional glances into our souls enlighten our minds. We will never successfully unearth all the confusion. Some biological processes will always function independent of consciousness. Confusing unconscious functions continue to interact with the outside world, arousing our system, and motivating protective action.

Untangling the Confusion

Effective living requires acceptance of the reality of our biological systems—not every biological function is ideal. We live within biological trade-offs that bless and curse our existence. Our wonderful brains have a few hitches that emotionally confuses our rational explanations. Some of these hitches hinder progress towards important goals.

Robert Elias Najemy suggests that confusion is the first step in growth.

He wrote:

“Over and over again, these three states flow through our being. First we are restless and confused, or in conflict. Then we make an effort toward growth or change. Finally, we experience the satisfaction of success in that effort. In order to achieve inner peace, we must accept all three states (restlessness, effort, satisfaction) as equally necessary in our evolutionary progress” (Najemy, 2001, p. 39).

​When life fails to meet expectations, it’s not necessarily the fault of a cruel world—our own action may be the cause. The mispredicted events sparks confusion and emotional discomfort. How we respond is our opportunity for expansion. The troubles that repeatedly beset us may be just consequences to our own behaviors. Examining personal behaviors as possible causes, rather than complaining about triggering events and terrible others, often enlightens a path that will resolve the vexing pain.

When Dreams Go Off Course

Even through great enlightenments, our bodies will continue to operate on auto-pilot, freeing resources for cognitive attention in other areas of survival. Biology, culture and experience prepare us for success—sometimes. But when dreams go off course—as they often will—we can blame the wayward winds, or adjust our vessels’ sails, realigning life with our desired intentions.

Practices in meditation and reflection bring deeper awareness (Murphy, 2018). Reflection can redirect attention that is pulled off course during heightened arousal. Self-regulation research found that affectively charged moments “may focus attention on immediate stimuli, leaving little attention available for self-reflection” (Sayette & Griffin, 2017). Using mindfulness first to sooth the arousal, followed by gentle reflection can help us refocus.

Examining past reactions unearths hidden beliefs and misguided biases that provoke misaligned emotions. These small practices of mindfulness and reflection identify unconscious processes holding us hostage. With consistency, patience, and skill, we learn better alternatives, identify goal destroying behaviors and adjust. ​In the calmness of the mind, and patience of routine inspection, we learn much more than the obvious, seeing pieces previously hidden. It is here, in the light of knowledge, that rational thought can join forces and influence change.

Associated Concepts

• Emotional Overload: This refers to a state in which an individual experiences an overwhelming amount of intense emotions or stressors. It occurs when a person feels unable to effectively cope with or manage the emotions they are experiencing.
• Affect Tolerance: This is the ability to manage and withstand strong emotions without becoming overwhelmed. This article explores the importance of affect tolerance for mental health, its relationship with other psychological concepts, and strategies for improving emotional resilience.
• Somatic Markers: These are are physiological or bodily reactions that are associated with emotions and influence decision-making processes. Coined by Antonio Damasio, a renowned neuroscientist, somatic markers refer to the way our bodies respond to certain stimuli and how those responses are linked to our emotional experiences.
• Affective-Cognitive Consistency: This refers to the alignment between emotions and thoughts, crucial for psychological well-being. Misalignment can lead to internal conflict and distress. Factors such as early experiences shape this consistency, impacting relationships and decision-making.
• Cognitive-Experiential Self-Theory (CEST): This is a dual-process theory of cognition that proposes humans operate with two interacting information-processing systems: a rational system (conscious, analytical, and logical) and an experiential system (unconscious, intuitive, and emotional).
• Allostatic Load: This refers to the chronic stress-induced wear and tear on the body, disrupting our ability to maintain balance and increasing vulnerability to health issues. Frequent stress, failure to shut down stress responses, and inadequate stress response contribute to allostatic load.
• Coping Skills: These encompass psychological and behavioral strategies for managing stress, emotions, and challenging scenarios. Effective mechanisms include problem-solving, mindfulness, physical exercise, seeking support, artistic expression, healthy lifestyle choices, cognitive-behavioral techniques, and seeking purpose.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

As we navigate the intricate landscape of our emotions, it’s essential to remember that confusion is not a sign of weakness; rather, it is a natural part of our human experience. Embracing the complexity of our feelings allows us to uncover deeper insights into ourselves and fosters personal growth. By cultivating emotional awareness and developing effective coping strategies, we can transform moments of turmoil into opportunities for self-discovery and empowerment. Remember, you are not alone on this journey—many share similar struggles with emotional clarity.

Together, let’s commit to understanding ourselves better and harnessing our emotions as catalysts for meaningful change. At Psychology Fanatic, we believe in the power of knowledge and reflection as tools for navigating life’s challenges. As you continue your exploration of emotional intelligence and regulation, take a moment to reflect on your own experiences with confusion and clarity. What lessons can you draw from them? How might you use these insights to steer your life toward greater fulfillment? We invite you to engage with us further—share your thoughts in the comments below or reach out through social media! Let’s create a vibrant community where passion meets research, fostering knowledge that uplifts all who seek it.