Stress Relief: Effective Practices for a Peaceful Mind
The over-zealous pursuit of happiness is disruptive. The pursuit intrudes on happiness. When happiness—or lack of—becomes a problem to solve, we over-analyze experience. A salient feature of a satisfying life is focus on the quality of experience; we live it. Worry about losing present happiness disrupts good feelings, drags attention from pleasantries and focuses on the irritating. We shouldn’t dance in blinded bliss—some behaviors need examining. Our action impacts the feeling experience. Behaviors do matter. Experience does matter. All these things contribute to feeling stressed out in the moment.
Life examination identifies happiness harming consequences, removing destructive choices. But this work can’t be all consuming. By budgeting spending, we resolve anxiety of paying bills. But once resolved, our worries may continue, fretting over the stock market, possible employment loss and a million other unsavory happenings that can disrupt financial security.
With mindful change, we improve our lives. These changes help but don’t magically grant happiness. There is a thought component to happiness. Healthy thoughts compliment healthy action and environments—not replace them.
Key Definition:
Stressed out is an informal term used to describe being overwhelmed, anxious, or under immense pressure. It typically refers to a state of mental or emotional strain caused by demanding circumstances or high levels of tension. This feeling can manifest physically through symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or muscle tension.
Life is Difficult
Sometimes life doesn’t feel right. Chronic depression, anxiety, and anger invades stability. A simple solution, such as a budget, doesn’t solve the developmental learning and biological thorns in our happiness bubble. But a followed budget does reduce some anxiety when mortgage payment is due. Our environments constantly fire up built-in biological systems that evolved to prepare us to meet environmental demands.
Many people struggling with emotional balance desperately chase momentary pleasures to escape the continued haunting in their mind. Pleasure can serve as a respite from ordinary trials, but constant pleasure invites more tormenting demons, further deteriorating futures with additional anxieties. We must gather strength and resources to implement healthy action to minimize challenges to preserve enough energy to effectively focus on those annoying thoughts that interrupt our lives.
See Life is Difficult for more on this topic
Healthy Stress
We need balance. Stress is essential. Stress protects. However, too much stress destroys. “Stressed-out people are wary of circumstances and plan obsessively to avoid dangers, whereas happy-go-lucky people may not notice they are walking into a trap” (Easterbrook, 2003).
Elaine Miller-Karas suggests in her trauma resiliency model that there is an optimal amount of stress where we function best. She refers to this as the Resilience Zone (Miller-Karas, 2015). Daniel Siegel refers to this as a window of tolerance.
Siegel wrote:
“Each of us has a ‘window of tolerance’ in which various intensities of emotional arousal can be processed without disrupting the functioning of the system” (Siegel, 2020).
Ideally, we notice when we are nearing the top of our tolerance so we can employ coping mechanisms to reduce the alarm and soothe the stress.
The concept of healthy stress is truly fascinating and essential to understand. It plays a crucial role as a motivator and protector in our lives. When we talk about healthy stress, we refer to moderate levels of stress, which is a biological function designed to promote survival.
This means that it’s not necessarily something to be avoided at all costs, but rather managed and channeled in a constructive way. We want the right amount of stress “enough that (we) get the motivational butterflies without the out-of-control panic attacks and chronic stress” (Kashdan & Biswas-Diener, 2015).
Our bodies are equipped to handle certain levels of stress, and in fact, this type of stress can push us to accomplish tasks, meet deadlines, and even protect ourselves from potential threats. It’s a reminder that stress, in proper moderation, can actually be beneficial for our overall well-being. Finding that balance is key to harnessing the positive aspects of stress while minimizing the negative impact it can have on our lives.
Toxic Stress
When stress explodes beyond this window of tolerance, people refer to being stressed out. The stress overwhelms and impacts functioning. In psychology, we refer to this as toxic stress. Toxic stress is prolonged and repeated stress that exceeds our ability to process. When stress reaches certain levels and chronically shakes the victim’s stability, it loses its functionality and begins to cause biological harm. Robert Putman explains, “Extreme stress causes a cascade of biochemical and anatomical changes that impair brain development and change brain architecture at a basic level” (Putnam, 2015).
Maté Gabor warns that chronic stress, when repeated and multiplied over the years has “the potential of harming homeostasis and the immune system” (Maté, 2008). Basically, being stressed out too often and for too long is bad for you.
See Toxic Stress for more on this topic
Stress Management
Personal work must be done with tenderness. We don’t want a self-schema of someone who is constantly working on a broken soul. Vigilantly attacking our personality traits, thoughts, relationships, and life habits rarely invites a more palatable life. These struggles to find happiness devours peace with the declaration of war—engaging in an inner angry battle. Our selfhood becomes this war, embroiled in fixing, instead of appreciating and enjoying life.
Healthy stress management techniques include:
- Regular Exercise: Engage in physical activities like walking, yoga, or swimming to reduce stress and improve overall well-being.
- Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice mindfulness exercises and meditation to reduce anxiety and promote relaxation.
- Healthy Diet: Consume a balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains to support your body during times of stress.
- Adequate Sleep: Prioritize getting enough sleep to help your body recover from daily stress and improve your resilience.
- Time Management: Organize your tasks, prioritize effectively, and delegate when necessary to minimize stress from overwhelming responsibilities.
- Social Support: Maintain strong social connections and seek support from friends and family when dealing with stress.
- Relaxation Techniques: Explore techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or aromatherapy to unwind and reduce stress levels.
Remember that finding the right combination of techniques may require some experimentation to determine what works best for you. Sometimes we need help from a professional to guide us through healthy stress management.
See Stress Management for more on this topic
Associated Concepts:
- Psychoneuroimmunology: This interdisciplinary field studies the interaction between psychological processes, the nervous system, and the immune system, all of which are relevant to understanding allostatic load.
- Stress and Coping Theory: This theory developed by Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman suggests that individuals experience stress when they perceive a discrepancy between the demands of a situation and their perceived ability to cope with those demands.
- Health Psychology: This field often utilizes stress and coping theory to understand the psychological factors contributing to health and illness.
- Biopsychosocial Model: This model refers to the interrelated impact of biology, psychology, and social environments on an individuals health.
- Fight-or-Flight Response: The alarm stage of GAS is similar to the fight-or-flight response, where the body prepares to confront or flee from a threat.
- Burnout: A psychological syndrome characterized by feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion, increased mental distance from one’s job or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one’s job, and reduced professional efficacy. Often associated with chronic workplace stress.
- Allostatic Load: This concept refers to the wear and tear on the body caused by chronic or repeated stress
A Few Words by Flourishing Life Society
We all must find our own balance. Life will ignite stress. Sometimes the stress is magnified by our perception and faulty expectations. Other times the situations and people in our life are especially stressful. Sometimes we solve the intense levels of stress by abandoning environments that are toxic. Other times we must learn better stress management skills. With mindful practice and a few additional coping skills, usually we can find a way to keep our stress within a workable window of tolerance. We can find a way to deal with our life stressors without feeling stressed out.
Last Update: November 14, 2025
References:
Easterbrook, Gregg (2003). The Progress Paradox: How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse. Random House; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 0812973038
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Kashdan, Todd, Biswas-Diener, Robert (2015) The Upside of Your Dark Side: Why Being Your Whole Self–Not Just Your “Good” Self–Drives Success and Fulfillment. Plume; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 0147516447
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Maté, Gabor (2008). When the Body Says No. Trade Paper Press; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 0470349476
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Miller-Karas, Elaine. (2015). Building Resilience to Trauma: The Trauma and Community Resiliency Models. Routledge; 2nd edition. ISBN-10: 0367681706; APA Record: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2015-18493-000
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Putnam, Robert D. (2015). Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis. Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 1476769893
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Siegel, Daniel J. (2020). The Developing Mind: How Relationships and the Brain Interact to Shape Who We Are. The Guilford Press; 3rd edition. ISBN-10: 1462542751; APA Record: https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2012-12726-000
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