The Entitlement Epidemic: Understanding and Managing It

Difficulties stink! We don’t choose to struggle (intentionally); although we often contribute to the circumstances that create the difficulty. A whole genre of happiness literature graces the bookshelves, promising peace; but no matter how skilled at living we become, difficulties intrude, disrupting the promised tranquility. From our struggle for a first breath at birth until our death, we fight for joyous survival. But we want ease. We want to reach the plateau and rest. The ordinary troubles seem unfair. An entitlement to ease is misguided. Entitlement for ease leaves us disappointed with the realities of existence.

Neither the arrival of the industrial revolution nor the presence of mass data has eased the burden. We still struggle. Capitalism pushes to grow the gross national product, leaving the less productive behind. The economy pushes production, creating more and more goods that marketers convince us are necessary. The cost of living is always just beyond comfort, requiring a little extra time (and stress). The paradise of ease doesn’t exist. We grapple with finances, relationships and emotions. I’m okay with this. Ease appears frightfully boring. Life, as we know it, has sufficient joys to enrich and beautify.

Key Definition:

An attitude of entitlement is a pervasive sense of deserving special treatment, privileges, or advantages beyond what is reasonably justified by the circumstances. It’s a belief that one is inherently superior or more deserving than others, often leading to expectations of favorable treatment without putting in commensurate effort or considering the needs and feelings of others.

Introduction

In recent years, the attitude of entitlement has become a topic of significant interest and concern among psychologists. This pervasive mindset, characterized by an individual’s belief that they deserve special treatment or privileges without corresponding effort or merit, has profound implications for personal relationships, workplace dynamics, and societal cohesion. This article aims to explore the psychological underpinnings of entitlement, its manifestations, and potential strategies for addressing it.

Defining Entitlement

Entitlement refers to a personality trait or attitude where individuals believe they are inherently deserving of preferential treatment, rewards, or recognition. This belief is often not based on their actual achievements or contributions but rather on an inflated sense of self-worth. Entitlement can manifest in various forms, from expecting special favors and exemptions to feeling aggrieved when others do not cater to one’s desires.

Psychological Roots of Entitlement

Entitlement can stem from a variety of psychological, developmental, and environmental factors. Some of the key contributors include:

Childhood Experiences

Parental overindulgence or overprotection can foster a sense of entitlement in children. When parents excessively pamper or shield their children from challenges, they may inadvertently teach them that they are exceptional and deserving of special treatment. These childhood environments can significantly contribute to the development of an unwholesome sense of entitlement in several ways.

Over-indulgence and Lack of Limits:

Excessive pampering: Children who are consistently given everything they want without having to work for it can develop an expectation that their needs and desires should always be met immediately and effortlessly.
Lack of consequences: When children are not held accountable for their actions and are shielded from the natural consequences of their behavior, they may not learn the importance of responsibility and respect for others.
Constant praise without merit: Receiving excessive praise and admiration, even for minimal effort or achievement, can lead to an inflated sense of self-worth and a belief that they are inherently special or superior.

Inconsistent Parenting and Conflicting Messages:

Inconsistent rules and boundaries: When parents have inconsistent rules or fail to enforce them consistently, children may learn that they can manipulate situations to get what they want.
Conflicting messages about worth: If a child receives messages that they are exceptionally special or talented without corresponding effort or achievement, it can create a distorted sense of self and lead to unrealistic expectations.

Modeling of Entitled Behavior

Observing entitled behavior in parents or other significant figures: Children learn by observing the behavior of those around them. If they witness parents or other influential adults behaving in an entitled manner, they are more likely to adopt similar behaviors.

Compensating for Past Hurts or Deprivation:

Overcompensating for past neglect or abuse: In some cases, an entitled attitude can develop as a way of compensating for past experiences of neglect, abuse, or deprivation. The individual may feel that they are owed something to make up for their past suffering.

It’s important to understand that while these childhood experiences can contribute to the development of entitlement, they are not the sole determinant. Other factors, such as personality traits and social influences, also play a role. However, creating a balanced and nurturing environment that emphasizes responsibility, empathy, and realistic expectations can help children develop a healthy sense of self-worth without falling into the trap of entitlement.

Narcissistic Traits

Entitlement is often associated with narcissistic personality traits. Individuals with high levels of narcissism tend to have an inflated sense of self-importance and a lack of empathy, both of which can contribute to entitled behaviors.

The narcissist has expectations of ease. They believe everybody’s purpose is to serve their needs. When something goes wrong, then it naturally is someone’s fault for disrupting the expected ease. Consequently, personal inventories are not taken, personal inadequacy never considered.

Melvin R. Lansky and Andrew P. Morrison, pioneering psychoanalysts and experts on the dynamics of shame and forgiveness, wrote in regards to the narcissist:

“The awareness of defect in regard to one’s own aspirations of perfection or comparison with others—gives rise to shame. In reaction to that shame arise the sense of injustice, of having been cheated, and of being entitled to claim that one is an exception, that is to say, the sense of entitlement justifying the narcissistic rage following the sense of shame” (Lansky & Morrison, 1997).

Cultural and Societal Influences

Certain cultural and societal norms can also promote entitlement. Christopher Lasch (1932-1994), leading American historian and social critic of the twentieth century, explains that our past way of life is “dying—the culture of competitive individualism, which in its decadence has carried the logic of individualism to the extreme of a war of all against all, the pursuit of happiness to the dead end of a narcissistic preoccupation with the self” (Lasch, 2018).

Societies that prioritize individualism and material success may inadvertently encourage entitlement by emphasizing personal rights over communal responsibilities.

See Cultural Narcissism for more on this topic

Manifestations of Entitlement

Entitlement can exhibit itself in various contexts, including personal relationships, workplaces, and broader social interactions. The self-focused sense of entitlement dismisses larger contexts and needs. It presupposes a world focused on serving the faulty perception of individual needs rather than the complex compilation of the needs of many people.

An employee with entitlement expectations envisions how the company can make their life easier. Any demands that requires extra effort or sacrifice is deemed unfair. However, these expectations never consider the impact of their entitlements on the functioning of the company or how these entitlements impact profit.

Entitlement mindset is full of unsophisticated proclamations of “I want” and “I need” without any realistic examination of the consequences of these demands.

Personal Relationships

In personal relationships, entitled individuals may expect their partners, friends, or family members to cater to their needs and desires without reciprocation. Often the entitlement expectation in intimate relationships holds a warped sense of love. The entitlement perspective is that intimate relationships are easy, satisfying all our personal desires.

Healthy relationships do satisfy many of our basic needs of belonging and acceptance. However, they do so at the const of sacrifice and compromise. The expectation that our partner joyful gives us what we want, fulfilling our sense of entitlement, without experience some loss or sacrifice is misguided. This view can lead to imbalanced and unhealthy relationships.

See Compromise in Marriage for more on this topic

Workplace Dynamics

In professional settings, entitlement can manifest as employees demanding promotions, raises, or special privileges without demonstrating the requisite effort or performance. This can create tension and resentment among colleagues. Succeeding in the competitive business world requires sacrifice and hard work. Most businesses reward based on merit. Successful businesses require sacrifice, dedication, and profit oriented perspectives to succeed.

Social Interactions

An attitude of entitlement can severely disrupt social interactions. It fosters a sense of self-importance where individuals believe they deserve special treatment, preferential consideration, and unwavering admiration simply by virtue of their existence. This mindset breeds a lack of empathy and consideration for others. Entitled individuals may demand excessive attention, disregard the feelings and needs of those around them, and become easily frustrated when their expectations aren’t immediately met. This often leads to strained relationships, resentment, and frequent conflicts.

Furthermore, entitlement hinders genuine connection. When individuals prioritize their own desires above all else, they miss out on the essential give-and-take of meaningful relationships. They may struggle to build and maintain strong bonds, experiencing difficulty with empathy, compassion, and genuine reciprocity. This can lead to social isolation and a diminished capacity for intimacy, impacting their overall well-being.

In essence, an entitled attitude creates a self-centered and exploitative approach to social interactions, ultimately harming both the individual and their relationships with others. It undermines the foundation of healthy social dynamics, where respect, consideration, and mutual understanding are paramount.

See Social Skills for more on this topic

Consequences of Entitlement

The attitude of entitlement can have several detrimental effects, both for the individuals themselves and for those around them.

Interpersonal Conflicts

Entitled individuals often experience conflicts in their relationships due to their unrealistic expectations and lack of consideration for others’ needs and feelings.

Professional Setbacks

In the workplace, entitlement can hinder career progression. Colleagues and supervisors may view entitled individuals as difficult to work with, leading to missed opportunities and professional isolation.

Jean Twenge and Keith W. Campbell, leading social psychologists and experts on narcissism and generational differences, wrote:

“We enjoy unprecedented freedom to pursue what makes us happy. But our high expectations, combined with an increasingly competitive world, have led to a darker flip side, where we blame other people for our problems and sink into anxiety and depression. Our childhoods of constant praise, self-esteem boosting, and unrealistic expectations did not prepare us for an increasingly competitive workplace and the economic squeeze created by sky- high housing prices and rapidly accelerating health care costs. After a childhood of buoyancy, GenMe is working harder to get less” (Twenge & Campbell, 2010, p. 7).

Mental Health Issues and Entitlement

Entitlement is associated with various mental health issues, including anxiety, depression, and chronic dissatisfaction. When entitled individuals’ expectations are not met, they may experience significant distress and frustration.

The misguided hope for ease magnifies the pain of difficulty. Entitlement—expecting ease—simmers underneath, magnifying disappointments. If were angry at life, perhaps, we should examine our expectations rather than the blaming the terribleness of the world for failing to provide.

David Richo wrote:

“Our ego is indignant about having to kowtow to conditions that do not safeguard its entitlement to fame, fortune, health, happiness, and invincibility. The neurotic ego is not an identity but a set of encrustations: Fear, Attachment, Control, and Entitlement. This is the FACE we keep trying to save and will do anything not to lose” (Richo, 2006).

We must fight these inclinations and work through the difficulties of life.

Life is Difficult

We have trials—unplanned and unpleasant. These intrusions spoil our ordinary, ordered days. Our expected calmness is rocked. Unwelcomed disruptions may be from our poor choices or somebody else’s. It doesn’t matter. We just want to know why; we demand answers.

We are predicting machines, ordering days with expectations. This is how we allot energy to the tasks at hand. Interference with these plans frustrates our system, requiring costly adjustments and adapting. However, this is life. This is the world we live in. The stars, sun and moon (and most everyone else and everything else) could careless about our predictions. They have their own plans. Expectations of no interference is foolish—even narcissistic. We are not entitled to an uninterrupted journey. Consequences to actions are unpredictable and inconsistent. Sometimes punishments are overwhelmingly stern, other times a poor choice may even reward; the cheater graduates, the people elect the liar, and the drunk driver safely returns.

See Unrealistic Expectations for more on this concept

Addressing Entitlement

Given the negative consequences of entitlement, it is crucial to identify strategies to address and mitigate this attitude. Some potential approaches include:

Self-Reflection and Awareness: Encouraging individuals to engage in self-reflection can help them recognize their entitled behaviors and understand their impact on others. This increased awareness is the first step toward change.
Therapeutic Interventions: Psychotherapy can be effective in addressing entitlement. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), for example, can help individuals challenge their unrealistic beliefs and develop more balanced and empathetic attitudes.
Parental Guidance: For parents, fostering a sense of responsibility and empathy in children is essential. This can be achieved by setting appropriate boundaries, encouraging effort and perseverance, and modeling considerate behavior.
Cultural Shift: On a broader scale, promoting cultural values that emphasize community, cooperation, and mutual respect can help counteract entitlement. Educational programs and public awareness campaigns can play a role in this cultural shift.

Associated Concepts

Prediction Psychology: This process involves using available information to anticipate future developments or outcomes in personal or social behavior. This can include making educated guesses about how individuals or groups may behave, feel, or interact in different situations based on existing knowledge and observations.
Dark Triad Personalities: These personalities encompass narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy, representing extreme personality traits often leading to manipulativeness, lack of empathy, and self-centeredness.
Primary Dilemma: This is a fundamental philosophical and psychological concept that revolves around the conflict between our basic desires and the constraints of social integration.
Social Exchange Theory: This theory posits that prosocial behavior is a result of a cost-benefit analysis.
Social Skills: These refer to the abilities and behaviors that enable individuals to interact effectively with others in various social situations. These skills include communication, active listening, empathy, teamwork, conflict resolution, and the ability to understand and navigate social cues.
Equity Theory: Closely related to Social Exchange Theory, Equity Theory focuses on the balance of contributions and benefits within relationships. It also emphasizes the importance of perceived fairness.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

Struggles forge character. A life of ease softens resolve, flexibility, and temperament. Maybe “affluenza” is a disease. Challenges that disrupt provide the ingredients to develop compassion, love and depth. Ease creates shallowness and entitlement. Life’s crazy. When lives shatter, we feel bitterness; but eventually if we let go and welcome reality, the acceptance prepares for healing. We’ll never fully appreciate life until we accept that bad things happen.

The acceptance tames anger, diminishes need for blame and opens us to great treasures of wisdom. We are entitled to live in this beautiful mixed up and complicated world, along with all the joys, sorrows, and pleasures. Savor the moments, learn from the challenges, and live life in the realities of the universe.

Last Update: December 7, 2025

References:

Lansky, Melvin R.; Morrison, Andrew. P. (1997) The Legacy of Freud’s Writings on Shame. Melvin R. Lansky and Andrew P. Morrison editors in The Widening Scope of Shame. Routledge; 1st edition.ISBN-10: 1317771370; DOI: 10.4324/9781315803388
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Lasch, Christopher (2018) The Culture of Narcissism: American Life in An Age of Diminishing Expectations, 1st Edition. W. W. Norton & Company; 1 edition. ISBN: 978-0-393-35617-5
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Richo, David (2006). The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. ‎ Shambhala; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 1590303083
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Twenge, Jean M., Campbell, W. Keith (2010) The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement. Simon & Schuster. ISBN: 978-1-4165-7599-3; APA Record: 2009-05058-000
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