Virtuous Living is a Process

Benjamin Franklin devised a plan to achieve personal perfection, working on one virtue at a time. He kept a daily journal of his progress. Once he perfected one virtue, he would move to another. He meticulously kept notes of successes and failures. His conscientious work propelled him to new heights. He even declared perfection of several single virtues and then moved to the next on his list. But when he moved attention to the next virtue, the previously “perfected” virtue would slip. He constantly bounced back and forth, learning, growing and changing; but never fully attaining the virtuous life he desired (Baumeister & Tierney, 2012).

Stacey Porto, wellness coach and founder of Virtues for Life, wrote that like anything else we want to master, “to become morally excellent or more virtuous takes practice” (Porto, 2022).

Virtuous living is a never-ending process.

Lao-Tzu’s Four Cardinal Virtues

Lao-Tzu named four cardinal virtues:

1. Reverence for all life
2. Natural Sincerity
3. Gentleness
4. Supportiveness

Lao-Tzu identified the Four Cardinal Virtues over 2500 years ago. However, they still offer guidance for a comprehensive personal virtue inventory today. Are You Living a Virtuous Life?

Reverence for Life

Do you have reverence for life? Quietly taking in the complexity and beauty? Life, when viewed with reverence, evokes ‘awe.’

Kirk Schneider wrote:

“The awesomeness of life is the starting point for psychology. Any psychology worth its name must begin with this premise. By awesomeness, I mean first of all, mystery—incomprehensibility, and second of all, magnificence—bedazzlement. I am speaking of the brute awareness that we exist at all” (Schneider, 2004).

The simpleness of our subjective view never fully understands the beauty and complexity of life.  A reverence for life reminds of our inability to effective judge value, withdrawing from our sloppy slapping of judgmental labels on others.

“Heaven is long-enduring and earth continues long. The reason why heaven and earth are able to endure and continue thus long is because they do not live of, or for, themselves. This is how they are able to continue and endure”

Natural Sincerity

Natural sincerity, as one of Lao Tzu’s Four Cardinal Virtues, goes far beyond simple honesty; it embodies a deep authenticity rooted in alignment with the Tao, the natural order of the universe. It speaks to a genuineness that permeates one’s being, actions, and interactions, arising not from conscious effort but from an unforced harmony with one’s true nature. This virtue emphasizes being true to oneself, stripping away pretense and artificiality to reveal the inherent goodness and simplicity at the core of human nature, according to Taoist philosophy. Natural sincerity is about acting and speaking from a place of inner integrity, where words and deeds are congruent with one’s deepest values and authentic self, unfiltered by societal pressures or ego-driven motivations.

This virtue manifests as a profound truthfulness in all aspects of life. It’s not just about avoiding lies, but about living in a way that is transparent and free from manipulation or deceit, both towards oneself and others. Natural sincerity fosters trust and genuine connection because it allows others to experience the real you, unmasked and unburdened by artifice. It is a quiet strength that emanates from inner harmony, creating a foundation for authentic relationships and a life lived in accordance with one’s own intrinsic values. Ultimately, embracing natural sincerity is a journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, allowing us to align with the Tao by simply being our truest, most unadulterated selves.

Gentleness

Are you gentle, not a pushover but considerate and kind? We live surrounded by crassness; too many people in a rush, focused on their own needs, ignorant of personal actions that impact others. Mean words and impulsive retaliations color the lives of too many. Social media posts are maligned with callous and malicious comments, not gentleness. Politics have always had some mean-spirited attacks; but the last presidential election was marred with a new level of hatefulness. Have we forgotten how to build self-confidence through achievement, resorting to vicious bashing as the only means to elevate the self?

In some ways gentleness is related to justice. However, justice or injustice is found in the outward act. “When through anger one man strikes another, justice is destroyed in the undue blow; while gentleness (mansuetudo) is destroyed in the immoderate anger” (Pieper, 1955).

Gentleness is not the outward act but a characteristic of a temperament. The gentle individual does not unjustly strike another because of self-regulation of an impulse but because of the gentleness of character does not have an impulse to unjustly strike.

The world needs more gentleness. Gentleness is part of living a virtuous life. Modern day hate grates at the very core of society. Gentle others have feelings.

See Gentleness for more on this topic

Supportiveness

Supportiveness transcends mere helpfulness; it embodies a profound and holistic approach to interacting with the world and others. Moreover, supportiveness is deeply interwoven with the other principles. It stems from a fundamental understanding of interconnectedness and the recognition that we are all part of a larger whole, the Tao. This virtue is not simply about offering practical assistance when needed, but about cultivating an inner posture of being available, nurturing, and empowering to those around us and to the flow of life itself. It reflects a deep commitment to fostering growth and well-being, both within ourselves and in the world.

Modern research has discovered the association between social support and wellness. Jonathan Haidt proclaims that building strong social networks is worth its weight in gold (Haidt, 2003).

Sheldon Cohen and Thomas Ashby Wills explain:

“A generalized beneficial effect of social support could occur because large social networks provide persons with regular positive experiences and a set of stable, socially rewarded roles in community. This kind of support could be related to overall well-being because it provides positive affect, a sense of predictability and stability in one’s life situation, and a recognition of self-worth” (Cohen & Wills, 1985).

Compassion

Supportiveness, in this Taoist context, becomes an active expression of compassion and gentleness. It is underpinned by natural sincerity – true support cannot be manipulative or self-serving, but must arise from genuine care and honesty. It manifests as creating space for others to flourish, offering encouragement rather than control, and providing a stable, nurturing presence without imposing or interfering with their individual paths. Supportiveness is about empowering others to find their own strength, much like the Tao itself supports and nourishes all of creation without striving or grasping. It is the quiet strength of a bamboo that bends with the wind but does not break, offering shelter and resilience without demanding recognition. In essence, supportiveness as a cardinal virtue is a deeply ingrained way of being, characterized by selfless service and a profound respect for the unfolding journey of life.

Associated Concepts

• Social Support Theory: This posits that social relationships and support networks play a crucial role in an individual’s well-being, particularly during times of stress or adversity.
• Human Flourishing: This refers to a state of optimal well-being and fulfillment in various aspects of one’s life. It involves experiencing positive emotions, engaging in meaningful activities, cultivating strong relationships, and achieving a sense of purpose and personal growth.
• Carl Rogers’ Theory of Self: emphasizes the importance of self-concept in the development of an individual’s personality. According to Rogers’, the self-concept consists of the individual’s perceptions and beliefs about themselves.
• Four Noble Truths: These are the foundational teachings of Buddhism. They consist of the truth of suffering, the truth of the cause of suffering, the truth of the end of suffering, and the truth of the path that leads to the end of suffering.
• Existential Psychology: Focuses on the human condition as a whole, addressing issues like meaning, choice, and the nature of existence.
• Self-Actualization: This is the process of realizing one’s potential and becoming the most that one can be, as proposed by Abraham Maslow.
• Noble Eightfold Path: This is a fundamental concept in Buddhism, provides a framework for healthy living, consisting of interconnected aspects like Right View, Right Intention, and others. It leads to the cessation of suffering and enlightenment.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

Virtues moderate self-focused drives that are blind to the larger whole. Virtues build a community, not an individual. This is healthy living. For most, we are reliant on a paycheck, society protections, and the numerous benefits of group effort; but the benefits of being part of the larger whole is more salient. A few can cheat and not give while still drawing from the resources of the masses. But too many cheaters, withdrawing and not giving destroys. The fabric of society begins to unravel forcing more and more to become self protected, stingily hoarding resources.

​We can’t continue down this path of selfishness. We need each other. The world needs virtuous individuals and groups, focusing on the benefits of all. We must strive to live a virtuous life.