The Destructive Effects of Repressed Anger

Life challenges our expectations, disrupts plans and sends reeling into angry fits as we put on the brakes and make sudden changes. Emotions are power feeling affects in response to inner and outer environments. Anger is one of the most powerful emotions. While anger is natural, and even adaptive, we also know that anger can be disruptive, destroying dreams, hopes, and relationships. Often in reaction to disruptive and corrosive anger, we unconsciously repress it, burying the feeling, ignoring the message, and failing to acknowledge wrongs. Yet, repressed anger causes its own problems.

This maladaptive approach may solve some of our problems; but create a new set of life disturbing consequences. Anger is not the enemy. Expression is not the villain. Maladaptive responses and hurtful reactions are the assailant.

What is Repressed Anger ?

Repressed anger is anger that is unintentionally avoided. Our life experience may have taught that emotionally expressions, especially in the case of anger, is wrong. As a result, when we experience arousal, we attempt to avoid the uncomfortable feelings. 

Often the term repressed anger is used interchangeably with suppressed anger. However, the two terms are fundamentally different. Repressed anger is largely an unconscious defense mechanism that buries unwanted emotions. Suppressed anger is a conscious effort to purposely avoid our manage anger.

Why We Experience Emotion?

A basic theory of emotion relies on the concept of homeostasis. Our body functions within boundaries. When balanced, we thrive. As we encounter stress, moving towards the edges of homeostatic balance, our body sounds an alarm through arousal, demanding action to bring systems back to a healthy normal.

These arousals begin as feeling affect, integrate with thought, and become what we define as emotion. For example, anger represents a movement away from our homeostatic balance. Something disrupted our normal, and we feel angry. We respond to the anger to right the ship and rebalance.

Antonio Damasio, director of the Brain and Creativity Institute at the University of Southern California, explains in more scientific terms brain mechanism in play that motivate responses to bring our bodies back into balance.

Damasio wrote:

“Emotive responses originate in specific brain systems—sometimes in a specific region—responsible for commanding the varied components of the response: the chemical molecules that must be secreted, the visceral changes that must be accomplished, the movements of face, limbs, or whole body that are part of a particular emotion, be it fear, anger, or joy” (Damasio, 2018).

Survival Advantages of Anger

Damasio teaches that emotions are essential to homeostasis. He specifically identifies anger for its advantages to survival. He wrote that “Anger has remained in the human emotion tool kit because it can, under certain circumstances, give an advantage to the angry subject by causing the adversary to recoil” (Damasio, 2018). Adversaries compete and disrupt. They cause loss, hurt, and homeostatic disruption. Under certain circumstances, angry responses are necessary to promote wellness. 

Anger when repressed fails to utilize this key emotion to protect our interest. “Anger is a life-supportive response intended to impact an unsupportive environment” (Heller & La Pierre, 2012). Expressions of anger has many dangers. Damasio warns, “But even when it gives advantages anger tends to have high costs, especially when it escalates to ire and violent rage” (Damasio, 2018).​ Because anger is behind many cruel and unthinkable actions that anger is slapped with a stigmatizing label. 

On the news this morning, a local station reported a roller rink was closing after two weeks of operation. The entertainment operation was marred by several fights in its short existence. Patrons couldn’t express anger in a healthy way. Anger quickly escalated, turning minor incidents into a hail storm of fists and fury. Fathers, sons, and daughters populate our prisons from inappropriate expressions of anger. It is no wonder that our brain seeks to protect against this obnoxious emotion, repressing the feeling and dodging destructive reactions.

Repressed Anger  and Illness

We all experience incidents of emotion in reaction to our surrounding environments. Some environments are more hazardous than others, igniting more incidents of protective feeling reactions that stimulate behavioral responses. According to the diathesis stress model, we have inherited vulnerabilities to these stresses. Undue exposures, exceeding our coping ability leads to defensive responses and sometimes mental and physical illness. We adapt through learning, either modeling of others or though our own interactions, ways to respond to environmental stresses. 

Overwhelming experiences with anger met with negative consequences may lead to adopting unhealthy responses—such as repression. Slapped with the interpretation that anger is bad, our mind jumps through preprogrammed heuristics, stuffs the emotion, freeing us from the feared consequences.

Repressed Anger and Physical Health

Repressed anger doesn’t disappear. It still exists, stored in our physical body, negatively impacting wellness and wisdom.

Dr. Gabor Maté wrote in his classic book When the Body Says No that, “When emotions are repressed…this inhibition disarms the body’s defences against illness. Repression—dissociating emotions from awareness and relegating them to the unconscious realm—disorganizes and confuses our physiological defences so that in some people these defences go awry, becoming the destroyers of health rather than its protectors” (Maté, 2008).

Heller and LaPierre explain:

“Symptoms of emotional dysregulation develop when we are unable to feel our emotions, when they overwhelm us, or when they remain unresolved. The life force is the energy that fuels healthy aggression, strength, self-expression, separation/individuation, fight-flight, passion, and sexuality. When the core expressions of the life force are not supported, when they are inadequately responded to or blocked from expression, sympathetic activation in the nervous system increases” (Heller & LaPierre, 2012).

​Leslie S. Greenberg, Distinguished Research Professor Emeritus of Psychology at York University in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, exhorts that, “​Rather than attempting to control, interrupt, change, or avoid the experience of emotions, people need to learn to live in harmony with them. Overcontrolled anger or sadness saps energy” (Greenberg, 2015).

Repression may relieve stress from conscious anger but depletes energy, stores unresolved emotion, damaging our bodies and weakening our resistance.

We Can Experience and Express Anger

We can express anger in appropriate ways. When environments threaten and hurt, we can respond, putting our foot down, expressing our anger over the injustice.

Greenberg explains that expression of needs and disclosure of hurts often brings better results. Expression of emotion, in ways appropriate to the context, is a highly complex skill of emotional intelligence, one that involves integrating prompts from both biology and culture. Stopping the repression of anger is only the beginning. We will return to previous damaging expressions if we fail to integrate skills of assertive expression. Expression is thus a socially mediated process, and awareness of emotion is not synonymous with expression. Learning when and how to express an emotion, and when it will not help, is all part of developing emotional intelligence (Greenberg, 2015).

Why Do We Repress Anger?

A key cause leading to anger suppression is early negative experiences of rejection. When parents or key figures in our lives reject our emotions as valid, often rewarding expressions with punitive punishments, we begin to repress. Heller and LaPierre explain that, “When aggression, anger, and other forms of protest are ineffective, not possible, or dangerous, children adapt. At a certain point, if the lack of attunement persists, the chronic sympathetic arousal overloads the nervous system; children adapt through resignation, shutting down the angry protest as well as the need itself, and move into the parasympathetically dominant freeze response” (Heller & LaPierre,2012). 

To exist in a toxic environment, where physical and emotional abuse reign, the victims surrender key aspects of themselves, sacrificing autonomy for safety. We sacrifice individual experience of emotion, giving up a key life force for directing and experiencing life.

Two Unhealthy Anger Expression Styles

We can express anger in a number of ways. Research has explored two basic styles:

• Anger-In
• Anger-Out

Anger-In

​Anger-In is internalizing the anger, focusing the hostility inward. Internalizing anger is suppressing expression, turning the anger inwards. Research has found that high levels of anger suppression lead to angry feelings being replaced with guilt, anxiety, and depression.

Instead of focusing on the elements thwarting our primary goals and disrupting our balance, the anger is turned inwards, blaming ourselves for the emotional arousal (Cox et. al., 2017). Anger-in may occur as a consequence of repressed anger.

Anger-Out

In contrast to anger-in, anger-out is externalizing the anger, focusing the anger outward. Anger-out refers to expressing one’s anger outwardly in a negative manner. Anger-out expressions may involve the use of aggressive actions or words. Individuals expressing anger outwardly choose targets directly or indirectly responsible for the arousal. They may also direct their anger to easy innocent victims that lack resources to defend against the angry attacks (Cox et. al., 2017).

​Anger-In and Anger-Out styles are not mutually exclusive. We use both of them. However, we individually adopt styles that often utilizes one expression more than the other. We also fluctuate our patterns of expression within the context igniting the anger. We may internalize anger while at work but externalize while at home. A study of sufferers of chronic pain found that the patients frequently experience anger. Interestingly, chronic pain sufferers, compared to healthy controls, “have frequently reported higher levels of anger suppression and/or hostility” (Galvez-Sánchez, 2022).

Our patterns of expression may be unhealthy. Our intensity of expression may be unhealthy. Or the manner we express anger inward or outward may be unhealthy. The complexity of healthy expression, not to mention the maze of unconscious justifications and interpretations, is why many of us throw in our towel of resignation and repress the arousal, banning the frightening emotion.

See Anger-In; Anger-Out for more on this topic

Assertive Expression Preferred Over Repressed Anger

The challenge is do we express, suppress, or let our unconscious mind repress the anger. Aristotle wisely said, “anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.” When things are not easy, we find alternate routes.

Most emotion research suggest assertive expressions of anger, following Aristotle’s advice, meaning anger must be directed at the correct object, in a manner that can be received, at the best time to deliver the message. Assaultive, demeaning aggression rarely, if ever, fits this dictum. Suppression and repression, on the other hand, fails to address the problem, creating internal stresses.

Greenberg explains that, “Expression of emotion, in ways appropriate to the context, is a highly complex skill of emotional intelligence, one that involves integrating prompts from both biology and culture.” Greenberg continues, “Learning when and how to express an emotion, and when it will not help, is all part of developing emotional intelligence” (Greenberg, 2015).

Conditions for Healthy Expression of Anger

Gabor provides lists these essential conditions for healthy expressions of anger:

• The capacity to feel our emotions, so that we are aware when we are experiencing stress.
• The ability to express our emotions effectively and thereby to assert our needs and to maintain the integrity of our emotional boundaries.
• The facility to distinguish between psychological reactions that are pertinent to the present situation and those that represent residue from the past. What we want and demand from the world needs to conform to our present needs, not to unconscious, unsatisfied needs from childhood. If distinctions between past and present blur, we will perceive loss or the threat of loss where none exists.
• The awareness of those genuine needs that do require satisfaction, rather than their repression for the sake of gaining the acceptance or approval of others (Maté, 2008).

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Impulsive expressions of anger are not assertive. They don’t convey inner expressions of emotion in clear and understandable ways. Often these explosions are non-descriptive of core affect because the actor doesn’t recognize their own internal experience. Emotions often surge in heighten arousal without skillful interpretation and differentiation between emotions.

Healthy Expressions of Anger

Blindly, we feel arousal and react. Healthy expressions, according to Diana Fosha, Ph.D., include:

• A sense of openness and coming forward.
• Cognitions associated with them are textured and specific, rather than global and stereotyped.
• Regardless of how painful they are, their expression provides eventual relief.

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In contrast, Fosha explains unhealthy repression of emotions have these features:

• The inner direction of energy is controlled through constriction, withdrawal, and inhibition, or by tension or frustration.
• The generation of excessively thwarting or self-attacking inhibition of action.
• A sense of being closed off, held in, or out of control.
• A sense of stasis or stagnation, of not getting anywhere; or a sense of deteriorating, sinking, falling, disintegrating, etc..
• Cognitions associated with defensive or anxious affect are global and tend to remain so ​(Fosha, 2000).

​Assertive Expression and Relationship Communication Skills

Assertive expression of emotion is a key communication skill, integrated with empathy and understanding. Daniel Goleman in his best selling book Emotional Intelligence adds this instruction, “Relationships are a major focus, including learning to be a good listener and question-asker; distinguishing between what someone says or does and your own reactions and judgments; being assertive rather than angry or passive; and learning the arts of cooperation, conflict resolution, and negotiating compromise” (Goleman, 2005).

T. Franklin Murphy wrote, “We will always encounter occasional discomforting exchanges. The larger role a person plays in our life, the more importance we place on disagreements. Discomfort naturally flows when information signals trouble; we can address the discomfort together, discussing the issue, or blindly find relief through escapisms. By facing the discomfort, instead of recoiling and withdrawing, we coordinate differences, build bridges, and establish safety” (Murphy, 2017).

​Fundamental Goal of Assertive Expression

The goal of assertiveness isn’t to manipulate or change the other person. Assertiveness creates vulnerability while protecting autonomous boundaries. Author Adelyn Birch wrote, “Assertiveness can be a terrifying prospect for those who have complied, appeased and avoided confrontation at all costs. Our irrational fear of rejection kicks in and silences us.” She continues, “Assertiveness is communicating in a direct and honest way. That’s all it is. Boundaries communicate what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior from others. That’s all they are” (Birch, 2014).

Jordan and Margaret Paul warn:

“Many people who have worked hard at learning how to express anger have been disappointed and puzzled when this did nothing to help their relationship. When the intent of anger is merely to blame, it will almost always be met with a defensive, protective response” (Paul & Paul, 2002).

Assertiveness in communicating anger cannot force repair of ruptured relationships. Perhaps, we suppress or repress anger because the person we are angry with is dangerous and will arm him or herself  with our autonomous expressions and later use our vulnerability to manipulate. Our suppressions may be healthy protections. Repressions, most likely, are not, blinding ourselves to the reality of our experience.

Assertive communication of anger, however, may uncover difficult realities, revealing the underlying character of the person hearing our sensitive disclosures of hurt and anger. Do they listen with empathy, validating our anger or do they scoff at our weakness, justify their insensitivity, and dismiss our primary needs?

See Assertiveness for more on this topic

Examples of Expression of Anger

Unhealthy Expressions:

• Why do you always do that. It makes me angry.
• You don’t care about me.
• You never do what I want.

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Many maladaptive expressions utilize techniques beyond words. We may express anger through intimidation and name calling. Sometimes expressions are given in silence, or biting sarcasms.

Healthy Expressions:

• I feel upset about missing our date night. I was really looking forward to it.
• When you say that, it hurts.
• When you disrespect an honest and simple request, I feel angry, as if you don’t care about what I want.

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​The purpose of healthy, assertive expressions of anger is to create a segue into open discussion and problem resolution. Fosha explains, “the expression of the individual’s core emotions elicits a response from the other, which in turn produces a second wave of affects, the secondary affective reactions” (Fosha, 2000).

Associated Concepts

• Depression: Repressed anger can turn inward, manifesting as persistent sadness or depression.
• Lazarus’ Cognitive Processing Theory: This theory posits that emotions arise not directly from external stimuli, but from our interpretations and evaluations of those stimuli. This “appraisal” process involves two key stages: primary appraisal (assessing the significance of the event—is it irrelevant, positive, or stressful?) and secondary appraisal (evaluating our ability to cope with the event).
• Stress and Coping Theory: This theory, developed by Richard Lazarus and Susan Folkman, suggests that individuals experience stress when they perceive a discrepancy between the demands of a situation and their perceived ability to cope with those demands. This theory emphasizes the cognitive and emotional processes involved in stress and the ways individuals attempt to cope with it.
• State-Trait Anger: This concept examines individual variations of expressions of anger, including intensity, duration, and frequency of expressions of anger. The state-trait elements of the theory separates states of anger expressed in specific incidents from personality traits. Some personalities lead to more frequent, higher intensity, and longer duration of incidents of angry emotional states.
• Frustration-Aggression Hypothesis: This hypothesis posits that frustration often leads to aggressive behavior. When individuals are blocked from achieving a goal or fulfilling a need, it can generate a state of frustration, which in turn increases the likelihood of aggressive responses.
• Passive-Aggressive Behavior: Instead of expressing anger openly, individuals may display passive-aggressive behaviors as an indirect way of expressing their frustration.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

In conclusion, effectively managing our emotions is not just a beneficial skill; it serves as the cornerstone of personal wellness and fulfillment. By recognizing and addressing repressed anger, we can unlock a richer experience of life—embracing the vitality that flows through us instead of allowing harmful reactions to take hold. The journey toward emotional awareness empowers us to navigate life’s challenges with resilience, transforming potential disruptions into opportunities for growth.

As we cultivate these essential skills of healthy emotional regulation, we move beyond mere survival into a realm where we can truly thrive. This transformation fosters deeper connections with ourselves and others, allowing us to engage fully in our experiences without fear or inhibition. Ultimately, by harmonizing our emotional expressions with our authentic selves, we not only enhance our well-being but also enrich the lives of those around us.

Last Update: January 19, 2026

Resources:

Birch, Adelyn (2014). Boundaries After a Pathological Relationship. CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform. ISBN-10: 1523368829
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Cox, D., DeVore, B., Harrison, P., & Harrison, D. (2017). The effect of anger expression style on cardiovascular responses to lateralized cognitive stressors. Brain Informatics, 4(4), 231-239. DOI: 10.1007/s40708-017-0068-4
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Damasio, Antonio R. (2018). The Strange Order of Things: Life, Feeling, and the Making of Cultures. Vintage. ISBN-10: ‎ 0345807146
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Fosha, Diana (2000). The Transforming Power Of Affect: A Model For Accelerated Change. Basic Books. ISBN-13: 9780465095674; APA Record: 2000-00712-000
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Galvez-Sánchez, C., Reyes del Paso, G., Duschek, S., & Montoro, C. (2022). The Link between Fibromyalgia Syndrome and Anger: A Systematic Review Revealing Research Gaps. Journal of Clinical Medicine, 11(3). DOI: 10.3390/jcm11030844
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Goleman, Daniel (2005). Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ. Bantam Books. ISBN-10: 055338371X
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Greenberg, Leslie S. (2015). Emotion-Focused Therapy: Coaching Clients to Work Through Their Feelings. American Psychological Association; 2nd edition. DOI: 10.1037/14692-000; ISBN-10: 1433840979
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Heller, Lawrence; LaPierre, Aline (2012). Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 1583944893
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Maté, Gabor (2008). When the Body Says No. ‎Trade Paper Press; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 0470349476
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Murphy, T. Franklin (2017) Emotional Communication. Psychology Fanatic. Published: 8-2017; Accessed: 2-28-2022. Website: https://psychologyfanatic.com/emotional-communication/
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Paul, Jordan; Paul, Margaret (2002). Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved by You: Second Edition. Hazelden Publishing. ISBN-13: 9781568387963
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