An Exploration of Characteristics, Causes, and Treatment of Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

Self-defeating personality disorder (SDPD) is a proposed personality disorder characterized by a persistent pattern of self-sabotaging behaviors that undermine personal success and happiness. While not officially recognized in the current edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the concept highlights a troubling reality for many individuals who struggle with chronic self-defeating behaviors. Individuals with SDPD may consistently engage in actions that lead to failure, disappointment, and emotional distress, even when opportunities for success or happiness present themselves. This pattern of self-sabotage can manifest in various ways, including rejecting positive experiences, undermining their own efforts, and engaging in self-destructive behaviors.  

The underlying causes of SDPD are complex and may involve a combination of psychological, social, and environmental factors. Early childhood experiences, such as trauma, abuse, or neglect, may play a significant role in the development of these self-defeating patterns. Individuals with SDPD may have developed maladaptive coping mechanisms to deal with past trauma, leading to a distorted self-image, low self-esteem, and a pervasive sense of inadequacy. These individuals may also struggle with feelings of guilt, shame, and unworthiness, leading them to subconsciously sabotage their own success.

Introduction: Understanding Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

Self-Defeating Personality Disorder (SDPD), often referred to as masochistic personality disorder, is a condition marked by a pervasive pattern of behaviors and thoughts that systematically undermine an individual’s own success and happiness. People with this disorder exhibit behaviors that lead to self-sabotage, especially in areas where they could potentially thrive.

History of Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

The early history of self-defeating personality disorder is mostly found under the concept of masochism. The term “masochism” has appeared regularly in psychiatric literature since 1900. Sigmund Freud included references to masochism in some of his early research and writing (Pestrak, 2004).

The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has never included self-defeating personality disorder in any edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). They included a predecessor of the disorder (Masochistic Personality Disorder) in DSM-III-R appendix. However, the masochistic personality disorder was removed from DSM-IV and all subsequent editions.

The opponents to masochistic and self-defeating personality disorder argue that these personality disorders are “gender-biased, victim-blaming, inappropriate as a diagnosis for abused women, and indistinguishable from and redundant with other personality disorders, specifically borderline and dependent personality disorders” (Cruz et al., 2000).

Personality Disorders

Personalities

When exploring personality disorders, it is essential to understand the differences between traits and personality. We all possess traits that fall over the personality spectrum. These begin in the womb but experience refines and changes behavioral expressions of these genetic predispositions. Personalities are a cluster of traits. In personality models, research identifies specific traits that tend to group together. These groupings provide information for further research on specific groupings–personality types.

Bruce Friedland explains:

“From the moment a person is born, his or her personality begins to take shape. In infancy, childhood, and later in adolescence, the individual explores a multitude of behaviors. Many are rejected, but others, those that prove successful and satisfying, are repeated and eventually become part of a strong and predictable pattern that determines how that person perceives him- or herself and reacts to the surrounding world” (Friedland, 1991).

Early patterns take hold in childhood that define their personality. While personalities may change over time, they are amazingly resilient.

Maladaptive Personalities

Unfortunately, not all patterns of behavior are adaptive. Some personalities deviate from social norms and are rigid and maladaptive. mental health professionals refer to these as personality disorders. Friedman explains that these patterns of behavior can “result in emotional upheavals ranging from depression and anxiety to those that spark suicide, and they can cause distress, unhappiness, or even functional impairment for the person with the disorder” (Friedman, 1991).

American Psychiatric Association (APA) identified different clusters of maladaptive traits and identified the most common clusters with different personality disorder diagnostic labels. They publish these labels (disorders) in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to provide a uniform classification system for identification, research and treatment.

see Personality Disorders for more on this topic

Characteristics of Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

Self-Defeating Personality Disorder is characterized by a variety of behaviors and thought patterns that consistently lead to negative outcomes.

Self-Sabotage

Individuals with SDPD often engage in behaviors that obstruct their own success. This can manifest in various ways, such as procrastination, chronic lateness, or intentional failure to complete tasks.

See Self-Sabotage for more on this topic

Choosing Unrewarding Situations

Those with SDPD tend to make decisions that lead to dissatisfaction or failure. They may select partners or jobs that are unsuitable, or persist in activities that yield little to no benefit.

Rejecting Help and Support

Even when assistance is offered, individuals with SDPD often refuse it, preferring to struggle on their own. They may downplay or dismiss the value of help from others. This phenomenon is investigated both as a defense mechanism ans as an element in hypochondria. The underlying force of the help-rejecting schema is that the person gains something from the narrative of being neglects. If others adequately fulfill their needs, the narrative is disrupted.

Harry Stack Sullivan suggests that an illness is a great excuse for failing to meet responsibilities (Sullivan, 1956). However, George Vaillant posits that: “Contrary to common belief, hypochondriasis is not an effort to obtain gratification and secondary gain from the sick-role. Rather, at the heart of hypochondriasis lies covert reproach. Hypochondriacs display extraordinary capacity to complain to those who come to comfort. Hypochondriacs bite, as it were, the hand stretched out to feed them. Hypochondriacs are sure to experience painful side effects, not balm, from any help that is proffered; and paradoxically, they rarely reveal their true pain” (Vaillant, 1998).

We see this in the aged parent that repeatedly refuses help from their children, but then complains to peers that her children never visit or do anything to help.

Feelings of Guilt and Shame

A strong sense of guilt and shame often accompanies SDPD. These feelings may arise from an ingrained belief that they do not deserve success or happiness, leading to a cycle of self-punishment.

Fear of Success

Paradoxically, the fear of success can be as debilitating as the fear of failure. The potential changes and responsibilities associated with success can be overwhelming, causing individuals to retreat into self-defeating behaviors.

Proposed Criteria for DSM-IV Admission

To synchronize research on self-defeating personality disorder, Frederic Kass, MD., proposed nine criteria for diagnosing it. I include these because they provide a broader understanding of the disorder.

1. Remains in relationships in which others exploit, abuse. or take advantage of him or her, despite opportunities to alter the situation
2. Believes that he or she almost always sacrifices own interests for those of others
3. Rejects help, gifts, or favors so as not to be a burden on others
4. Complains, directly or indirectly, about being a burden on others
5. Responds to success or positive events by feeling undeserving or worrying excessively about not being able to measure up to new responsibilities
6. Always pessimistic about the future and preoccupied with the worst aspects of the past and present
7. Thinks only about his or her worst features and ignores positive features
8. Sabotages his or her own intended goals
9. Repeatedly turns down opportunities for pleasure (Kass, 1987).

*This information is for general knowledge and guidance only and does not constitute professional medical advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing symptoms that may be indicative of a mental health disorder, it is crucial to consult with a qualified mental health professional for proper evaluation and diagnosis.

Potential Causes of Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

The origins of SDPD are not entirely understood, but several factors are believed to contribute to its development:

Early Life Experiences

Trauma, neglect, or abuse during childhood can significantly impact self-esteem and self-worth, laying the groundwork for self-defeating behaviors that may persist well into adulthood. These early experiences often create a distorted self-image and a pervasive sense of unworthiness, making it difficult for individuals to form healthy relationships or pursue their goals with confidence.

Rhawn Joseph wrote:

“If your parents frequently scolded you for being ‘no good,’ ‘worthless,’ and ‘a failure,’ and you act otherwise by becoming happy, successful, or involved in a promising healthy relationship, the Parent (the internalized parent) will do its utmost to sabotage you so as to maintain the familiar. . . If what is familiar is to be hurt, used, rejected, neglected, and to feel badly or worthless, experiences which do not conform to these well-ingrained expectations will be rejected as well” (Joseph, 2001, p. 210).

Children who grow up in environments where they are constantly criticized or devalued may internalize these negative messages, leading to feelings of inadequacy and a belief that they do not deserve happiness or success. As they navigate their teenage years and enter adulthood, the repercussions of such formative experiences can manifest in various forms, including anxiety, depression, and a reluctance to engage in new opportunities, ultimately hindering their overall development and life satisfaction.

Learned Behaviors

Self-defeating behaviors can be learned from influential figures in one’s life. If parents or caregivers exhibit similar patterns, children may adopt these behaviors through modeling as normal or expected. Susan David, an award-winning psychologist affiliated with Harvard Medical School, explains:

“These self-sabotaging responses are not what we choose to do; they’re what we’ve been conditioned to do, and will continue to do until we unhook from the flight to the familiar and find the agility to shut down the autopilot, show up, step out, and take agency of our own lives” (David, 2016).

Learned behaviors refer to behaviors that were reinforced through positive rewards or removal of negative consequences. A child that avoids difficult tasks escapes the painful judgements of a critical parent. In this case, the child learns that avoidance is beneficial.

See Behavioral Reinforcement for more on this concept

Psychological Factors

Underlying psychological issues, such as depression or anxiety, can exacerbate self-defeating tendencies. These conditions can distort an individual’s perception of their abilities and worth, contributing to a cycle of negativity.

A Cycle of Self-Defeating Behaviors

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Important Note: This is a general overview. The specific ways in which depression and anxiety contribute to self-defeating tendencies can vary significantly from person to person. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or self-defeating behaviors, it’s crucial to seek professional help from a qualified mental health professional.

Biological Factors

There is some evidence to suggest that genetic and neurobiological factors may play a role in the development of personality disorders, including SDPD. However, more research is needed to fully understand these connections.

Biopsychosocial Model

Like most psychiatric disorders there is not a single specific cause. Most twin studies show a genetic component but that that association is far from universal. Basically, identical twins while they have a higher likelihood of suffering from the same psychiatric disorder than two random people from the general public still are more likely to only have one twin suffering from the disorder than both. This suggest a genetic element and other factors.

The diathesis stress model posit that disorders develop as a result of interactions between pre-dispositional vulnerabilities (the diathesis), and stress caused by life experiences. Basically, genetics are not lead to a predetermined end.

Susan Schneider explains:

“One thing we do know is that the whole system is churning: genes, cellular processes, hormones and neurotransmitters, environmental factors of all sorts, the whole shebang. A major misunderstanding about nature ‘versus’ nurture has been that it’s an either/or proposition in which genetic and environmental contributions to a behavioral or physiological outcome can be separated. Instead, it’s always ‘nature and nurture’—always genes and environment working together” (Schneider, 2012).

See Biopsychosocial Model for more on this concept

Genetic Predispositions, Cumulative Risks, and Reciprocal Processes

Cumulative Risks

When we discuss processes, we typically oversimplify so we can wrap our limited minds around the concept. Even with the concept of gene-stress interactions we envision a single gene interacting with a single event. However, disorders are not a product of a single gene, they are associated with networks of genes. Moreover, we don’t experience a single activating event but a sequence of events. According to cumulative risk theory, it is the combination of events that lead to eventual disorders.

Robin Karr-Morse and Meredith S. Wiley discovered in their research of violence that single factors in childhood did not predict adult aggression and violence. Violence, they discovered, was associated with cumulative factors. While genetic differences played a role, it does not predestine a child to a violent disposition. Karr-Morse and Wiley explain: “The research on genetics leads to the conclusion that none of these factors in isolation causes negative outcomes. Rather, it is the interaction of biological variables with environmental variables that results in prosocial or antisocial outcomes” (Karr-Morse & Wiley, 2014).

Just as Karr-Morse and Wiley discovered with adult violence, single childhood events do not create a predetermined end of developing a disorder.

Reciprocal Processes

Genes and environments are not completely unrelated. They have a reciprocal influence on each other. A personality arouses different elements in the environment. The environment impacts gene expression. Round and round these factors go both creating changes in each other. The sensitive infant cries throughout the night arousing anger in the exhausted parents, leading to a different experience than the child with an easier disposition. In psychology we refer to this as reciprocal determinism.

See Reciprocal Determinism and Reciprocal Gene-Environment for more on this topic

Treatment Approaches for Self-Defeating Personality Disorder

Treating SDPD can be challenging, but there are several approaches that can help individuals manage and overcome their self-defeating behaviors:

Psychotherapy

While SDPD is not officially recognized in the DSM-5, several psychotherapy approaches may be helpful for individuals exhibiting self-defeating behaviors. These include:

• Mindfulness-Based Therapies: These therapies emphasize cultivating mindfulness and self-awareness, which can help individuals become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By increasing self-awareness, individuals can ¹ identify and interrupt self-defeating patterns before they lead to negative outcomes.
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This approach focuses on identifying and modifying negative thought patterns and behaviors. CBT can help individuals with SDPD recognize and challenge self-defeating beliefs, develop more realistic expectations, and learn more adaptive coping mechanisms.
• Psychodynamic Therapy: This approach explores unconscious motivations and early childhood experiences that may contribute to self-defeating patterns. By understanding the roots of these behaviors, individuals can gain insights into their underlying dynamics and develop healthier ways of relating to themselves and others.
• Interpersonal Therapy (IPT): This therapy focuses on improving interpersonal relationships and communication skills, which can be significantly impacted by self-defeating behaviors. IPT can help individuals develop healthier relationships, improve social skills, and resolve interpersonal conflicts.
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): DBT is particularly helpful for individuals who struggle with emotional regulation and impulsivity, which are common features in individuals with self-defeating behaviors. DBT focuses on mindfulness, emotional regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness skills.

Building Self-Esteem

Building self-esteem is a crucial component of treating individuals who exhibit self-defeating behaviors. Low self-esteem is often a central feature of these patterns, fueling feelings of inadequacy, worthlessness, and a pervasive sense of failure. By cultivating a more positive self-image, individuals can begin to break free from the cycle of self-sabotage. This involves challenging negative self-talk, recognizing and appreciating their strengths and accomplishments, and setting realistic and achievable goals.

Therapists may employ various techniques to help individuals build self-esteem, such as cognitive restructuring, positive self-talk exercises, and identifying and challenging negative self-beliefs. They may also encourage individuals to engage in activities that foster a sense of accomplishment and personal growth, such as pursuing hobbies, volunteering, or engaging in physical activity. By gradually building self-esteem, individuals can develop a more positive and realistic view of themselves, leading to increased self-confidence, improved motivation, and a greater sense of personal agency.

See Self-Esteem for more on this topic

Addressing Underlying Issues

If underlying conditions such as depression or anxiety are present, addressing these issues is essential. Medication, therapy, or a combination of both may be necessary to manage these conditions effectively.

Support Systems

Social systems play a crucial role in the treatment of self-defeating personality disorder (SDPD). These systems provide the necessary support and resources for individuals to overcome self-defeating patterns.

• Community Resources: Many communities offer resources such as mental health clinics, support groups, and social services that can provide access to therapy, medication, and other essential support.
• Support Groups: Support groups offer a safe and supportive environment where individuals with SDPD can connect with others who understand their struggles. Sharing experiences, offering mutual support, and learning from others can be invaluable in the recovery process.  
• Family and Friends: The support of loved ones is essential. Family and friends can provide emotional support, encouragement, and practical assistance. However, it’s crucial for family members to understand SDPD and avoid enabling self-defeating behaviors.  

Associated Concepts

• Self-Handicapping: This refers to behaviors or actions people take to create obstacles or excuses that can explain potential failures. This strategy is often used to protect one’s self-esteem and self-image from the negative impact of failing to achieve a goal
• Help Rejecting Defense Mechanism: This defense mechanism is characterized by an individual’s tendency to initially seek help or advice, only to reject or resist the assistance offered. This pattern often stems from underlying feelings of insecurity, fear of dependency, or a desire to maintain a sense of control.
• Human Irrationality: This refers to the tendency of individuals to make decisions and take actions that deviate from logical reasoning or sound judgment. This phenomenon encompasses a wide range of behaviors, such as cognitive biases, emotional influences, and irrational beliefs.
• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): This refers to potentially traumatic events that occur during childhood (0-17 years). These experiences can include various forms of abuse, neglect, witnessing violence, and growing up in a household with mental health or substance use problems.
• Self-Efficacy Theory: Developed by Albert Bandura, this theory relates to an individual’s belief in their ability to succeed. Those with low self-efficacy may reject help due to a belief that they are incapable of change or improvement.
• Maladaptive Behaviors: These behaviors are not necessarily bad or ill but maladaptive to securing a particular goal. ‘Maladaptive behavior’ describes modified actions that poorly adjust to circumstances, often exchanging desired long term goals for short term relief.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

In exploring Self-Defeating Personality Disorder (SDPD), we have delved into the intricate web of behaviors, thought patterns, and underlying factors that contribute to this complex condition. From early life experiences to learned behaviors and psychological challenges, individuals grappling with SDPD often find themselves caught in a cycle that undermines their potential for success and happiness. As we reflect on the characteristics and proposed criteria associated with SDPD, it’s evident that understanding these dynamics is crucial for breaking free from self-sabotage. The journey toward recovery begins with awareness, allowing individuals to confront maladaptive beliefs and reshape their narratives.

Embracing treatment options such as psychotherapy, mindfulness practices, and support systems can pave the way for personal growth and healing. Building self-esteem plays a vital role in this process; when individuals recognize their worthiness of happiness and success, they can challenge negative cycles rooted in guilt or shame. By fostering resilience through therapy and community support, those affected by SDPD can learn not only to navigate their struggles but also to thrive amidst them. Ultimately, transforming one’s relationship with oneself is not just about overcoming self-defeating tendencies—it’s about unlocking the doors to a more fulfilling life defined by passion, purpose, and an unwavering belief in one’s capabilities.

Last Update: October 1, 2025