Unlocking the Secrets to Staying Motivated

Let’s be honest for a moment. Most of the time it’s not a matter of knowledge holding us back; it’s our lack of ability for staying motivated. We know what we must do; we’re just not doing it consistently enough to make a difference. If we can solve the motivation issue, most the vexing problems holding us back would vanish. We fail and go back to the drawing board, seeking ways to sidestep the primary cause for failure—lack of ability to stay motivated. Perhaps with somethings there is an easier way, but, often success is obtained by simply getting our hands dirty, putting in sweat equity and earning the reward.

We’ve all been there. In a moment of excitement, we decide we are just going to “do it.” We’re going to lose that weight, go back to school, or start saving money. We imagine a better life, and make some kind of commitment to change.

We may dawdle in new behaviors for a while, do a few exercises, search the internet for job offers, or forego the bowl of ice cream. Yet, before habits take hold, we slowly drift back to our comfortable norm, eventually abandoning the goal. Laziness wins the day, imprisoning our life, again.

Key Definition:

Personal motivation refers to the driving force or reason behind an individual’s actions, goals, and behavior. It is the internal process that energizes, directs, and sustains a person’s efforts toward achieving a particular objective. Personal motivation can stem from various factors such as personal values, desires, beliefs, and needs, and it plays a crucial role in shaping an individual’s persistence, resilience, and commitment in pursuing their aspirations.

Flashes of Motivation

We have flashes of motivation—an internal push to change that can be both exhilarating and transformative. These moments often arise unexpectedly, like a sudden bolt of lightning igniting our spirits with the promise of possibilities. Sometimes, it’s a sharp disappointment or a moment of vulnerability that serves as the catalyst for this shift; the pain is so palpable that it propels us into action. Other times, we may catch a glimpse of what life could be—a vision filled with hope and potential—that stirs within us a strong desire to make meaningful changes. In these instances, we triumphantly proclaim, “I’m going to go do it,” convinced that this time will be different.

However, while these flashes provide an initial spark, they are not sufficient for sustained transformation. The real challenge arises when those vibrant bursts of inspiration begin to fade away like distant echoes in our minds. Our once bright motivational fire turns into doubt and eventually cools into ashes if left untended.

This gradual decline can leave us feeling disheartened and ready to abandon our goals altogether. To combat this inevitable ebbing energy, we must actively fan the flames of motivation by seeking ways to maintain momentum over time; this involves consistently reminding ourselves why we started in the first place and fortifying our resolve with strategies that keep those embers glowing brightly even in challenging circumstances.

Staying Motivated by Riding the Wave

A crucial first step for success is to ride the wave of precious  motivational flashes. Jump on your dreams before they fade, breaking back into the flat waters of normalcy. It doesn’t take much for us to retreat to sameness. Sameness feels comfortable. Change is stressful. We naturally default to the cozy failures that are permanent fixtures in our dreary lives.

The great late Forty-Niner defensive lineman Fred Dean, known for not lifting weights, once told a reporter, “certainly, I sometimes feel like lifting weights. But, I just sit down and the desire goes away.” Based on Mr. Dean’s success, we know he did plenty of other things to keep his competitive edge. However, his comments struck me. Often, we do just that. We have a flash of motivation, and instead of acting on it, we sit down and the desire quietly goes away without a fuss. We fail to stay motivated if we fail to act when experiencing initial pushes of motivation to act.

Honoring the Flashes of Motivation

A key to success lies in honoring these flashes of motivation by fully understanding their transitory nature and harnessing their energy without hesitation. When we experience that initial spark, it’s crucial to act swiftly; for small tasks, this means channeling our motivational energy into immediate action, allowing us to complete projects without delay. This sense of urgency helps capitalize on the momentum generated by those fleeting moments of inspiration. As we tackle smaller objectives with enthusiasm and focus, we not only build a sense of accomplishment but also create a positive feedback loop that can fuel further efforts.

However, when it comes to pursuing larger dreams and ambitious goals, simply relying on sporadic waves of motivation will not suffice to carry us through the long haul required for sustained commitment. Achieving significant aspirations often demands months or even years of dedicated work—and during such extended journeys, our initial bursts can wane.

To navigate this challenge effectively, we need a robust plan designed specifically for maintaining motivation over time. This includes creating structures and routines that keep our goals front and center in our minds while developing strategies to reignite passion when enthusiasm begins to fade. By fostering an environment where motivation is consistently nurtured rather than left solely to chance, we increase our chances for lasting success in achieving those grander visions we’ve set for ourselves.

Building Foundations for Action During Motivational Flashes 

To achieve our distal goals, we need both gentle and persistent nudges that motivate us to take sufficient action. These nudges are crucial because they help bridge the gap between fleeting moments of motivation and sustained effort over time. One effective strategy is to harness those motivational flashes by creating environmental structures that support our aspirations. For instance, setting up reminders in our living or working spaces can serve as visual cues that keep our dreams alive even when enthusiasm wanes.

Nudges can manifest through a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards, which play significant roles in reinforcing desired behaviors. Positive reinforcers reward us for achieving milestones along the way, while negative reinforcers help mitigate feelings of discomfort associated with inaction. Additionally, it’s vital to remind ourselves why these goals matter; connecting with the deeper significance behind what we’re striving for can reignite passion during challenging times. To further ease the burden of action when motivation runs low, we should implement various psychological tricks and tools designed to lower resistance and increase engagement.

Techniques such as breaking tasks into smaller steps or employing “if-then” planning strategies allow us to navigate obstacles more effectively while maintaining a forward momentum toward fulfilling our long-term ambitions.

​Rewards

Rewards are ever-present, lying at the heart of most behavior. Life naturally provides rewards for action—or punishments for inaction. Yes, laziness rewards. The most notably reward of inaction is comfort. A helpful tool for staying motivated continued action is structuring a reward system that supersedes natural rewards of inaction (comfort, amusements).

When starting a new habit, building a reward structure offers several benefits:

• Motivation: Rewards provide positive reinforcement, motivating you to continue the habit. The anticipation of a reward encourages consistent behavior.
• Cue-Response Connection: Rewards strengthen the link between the cue (trigger) and your desired behavior. Over time, your brain associates the cue with the reward, making the habit more automatic.
• Sustained Adherence: Tangible rewards make habits more ingrained in your routines. Immediate rewards increase adherence, helping you stick to the habit.
• Positive Feelings: Feeling rewarded after completing a habit reinforces positive emotions, making it more likely that you’ll repeat the behavior.

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Remember, the reward is crucial—it tells your conscious mind that the change is worthwhile and keeps you motivated. So, consider incorporating rewards into your new habit-building process

Positive and Negative Reinforcers

Positive rewards play a pivotal role in reinforcing and celebrating positive actions, serving as motivators that encourage us to pursue our goals with enthusiasm. Susan M. Schneider explains, “If a behavior gets going and keeps going because of a consequence, that consequence is a reinforcer. If a behavior declines because of a consequence, that consequence is a negative (a punisher)” (Schneider, 2012).

For instance, when we commit to working out consistently—say, four days in a row—or achieve milestones like losing ten pounds, acknowledging these accomplishments through rewards can significantly enhance our motivation. These positive reinforcements create a sense of satisfaction and achievement that boosts our confidence and encourages continued effort toward similar goals (Murphy, 2025). By creating a reward system that aligns with our aspirations, we establish an environment where success is recognized and celebrated, ultimately fostering healthier habits over time.

On the other hand, negative reinforcement involves the use of punishment or consequences for undesirable behaviors; however, it is important to note that while it may drive some short-term changes, it often lacks the effectiveness needed for sustained behavior modification.

Research indicates that celebrating positive actions tends to have a more profound impact on long-term behavioral change compared to punishing negative behaviors. This insight leads us to capitalize on the power of positivity by setting action-oriented goals centered around constructive behaviors rather than focusing solely on avoiding negative outcomes.

By rewarding ourselves for successfully completing tasks aligned with our objectives—whether it’s sticking to a workout routine or maintaining healthy eating habits—we cultivate an atmosphere of encouragement and empowerment that motivates us not only to reach but also sustain our desired outcomes in life.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Rewards

Intrinsic Motivation:

Edward Deci and Richard Flaste suggest that intrinsic motivation is at the heart of “healthy behavior and lasting change” (Deci & Flaste. 1996, p. 9). Intrinsic motivation is pursuing first-order values. We love for the sake of loving. Intrinsic values our key to staying motivated.

Richard Ryan and Deci describe intrinsic motivation as a principle source of enjoyment and vitality throughout our life. They say that in many ways it “is almost spiritual” having to do with the feeling itself. They continue, “It is vitality, dedication, transcendence. It is one of those experiences that can be called ‘more than ordinary moments’” (Ryan & Deci, 2000, p. 45).

​Extrinsic Motivation

​Extrinsic motivations is effort to achieve a reward outside of ourselves. We are more motivated at work when the work is engaging, relying on our creativity, and skill than a job where we do our obligatory eight hours and flee. The effort and energy drag on our wellness. We need a paycheck; I get it. Many jobs are a second-order endeavor. We work for a paycheck to pay for shelter.

Complexity of Rewards

​Rewards are not simple. Most behaviors are motivated by a mixture of intrinsic and extrinsic rewards both for performing positive behaviors and avoiding negative behaviors. Trying to unravel every underlying reward is impossible, we just do our best to seed the desired path with rewards that keep us motivated. Ultimately, intrinsic rewards for positive behaviors will serve us best. We feel good (the reward) when we exercise (the behavior). When we achieve this monumental intrinsic reward system for positive behaviors, work towards a goal flows effortlessly.

External rewards have a place; they also assist us in our efforts to stay motivated. Last week I celebrated a 7 month grueling website reformatting effort. After 500 hundred hours of work, I finished this monumental task, celebrating the achievement by opening a bottle of Champaign. While the bottle of Champaign alone would not be enough to motivate the work, it was a nice treat, providing an extra push as I neared completion.

Conflicting Rewards

I caution against external rewards that conflict with the overarching goal. For example, rewarding yourself with a break from the work of doing the very thing you are attempting to accomplish. We shouldn’t reward ourselves with a fatty, high calorie meal for keeping a strict diet for a week. The reward undermines the overarching goal. These rewards expose our distaste for the task, interrupt momentum, and require difficult reengagement.

Rewards such as these are akin to rewarding a recovering substance abuser for successful detox with a trip to the bar. Rewards should motivate continued effort, not invite disruptive breaks. Healthy alternative rewards can be creatively implemented, eventually integrating the new behavior into an intrinsically rewarding endeavor. For example, reward three weeks of gym attendance with a massage, or perhaps, a change of pace workout, such as a swim or a run on the beach.

Reminders of Purpose

Friedrich Nietzsche famously wrote, “If You Know the why, you can live any how.” However, purpose isn’t always so simple. Purpose contributes to setting goals but the vision seems to fade. Life gets in the way. We aren’t singular in purpose. We have many goals. What is forefront in one moment often slips in priority as the kids scream, bills come in, and aching muscles beg for rest. We must keep our “why” alive. If we don’t routinely bring our original dream back to the surface, staying motivated to do the work will wane. A few ways to do this are:

• Write goals down along with the reasons for the goal
• Review progress regularly
• ​Journal writing 
• Dream boards
• Join groups that share the same purpose 

Psychological Tricks and Tools

Tricks work. Sometimes we need to fool ourselves into doing what we want to do. We must make the path easier. Grit alone will not do. To ease the burden, we should use initial motivations to set in motion plans that make continued effort easier. We can put in place structures that push us forward when the original motivations shift.

The Goldilocks Rule

​James Clear suggests we set goals in a sweet spot, demanding effort but not overly difficult. When goals are too easy, we get bored; when too demanding, we get frustrated. We must find the middle ground, enough to keep us engaged, experiencing progress. Clear explains, “Humans experience peak motivation when working on tasks that are right on the edge of their current abilities. Not too hard. Not too easy. Just right.”

Setting the right goals is essential for staying motivated. Difficult goals that may overwhelm need to be broken down into bite sized digestible morsels. We need routine enjoyments of success.

Inform Others of Your Goals

Often, we keep our goals and aspirations hidden from others due to a natural instinct for ego protection. This tendency is deeply rooted in the fear of failure and shame; when we embark on a new journey or set an ambitious goal, the thought of falling short can be daunting. If no one knows about our ambitions, we believe we can avoid the feelings of embarrassment that might accompany public scrutiny.

However, this shame avoidance ultimately hinders our progress by depriving us of valuable support systems. Sharing our goals with friends or family not only holds us accountable but also invites encouragement during challenging moments—an essential component for maintaining motivation over time.

Supportive relationships can significantly bolster our efforts toward achieving personal objectives. When we vocalize our intentions to those around us, it creates a sense of commitment that may propel us forward even when enthusiasm wanes. Knowing that someone else is aware of our goals fosters accountability; it instills a desire to follow through because we don’t want to disappoint those who are cheering us on.

Moreover, sharing these aspirations opens up avenues for constructive feedback and collaborative efforts—friends may offer insights, share experiences, or even join you in your endeavors, making the journey less isolating and more enjoyable. Ultimately, embracing vulnerability by inviting supportive others into our goal-setting process can transform how we approach challenges and enhance our ability to stay motivated through shared experiences and mutual encouragement.

Accountability Partners

Collaborating with someone on personal goals can significantly enhance motivation and commitment. This dynamic stems from the principle of accountability, which becomes more pronounced when we involve another person in our journey. When working alone, it’s often tempting to let ourselves off the hook—after all, no one else is watching. However, when we have a friend or partner who is aware of our commitments and progress, the stakes feel higher.

This shared responsibility creates an environment where each participant feels compelled to follow through on their promises; after all, breaking a commitment to someone else can evoke feelings of guilt or disappointment that may not be as impactful when it’s just about ourselves.

Moreover, having an accountability partner fosters a sense of community that can make pursuing goals less daunting and more enjoyable. Even if both individuals are striving for different objectives, they provide mutual support by checking in regularly and celebrating each other’s victories along the way. This practice not only helps maintain motivation but also cultivates resilience during challenging times—when one partner struggles or loses focus, the other can step in with encouragement or advice based on their own experiences.

By creating this symbiotic relationship rooted in empathy and understanding, accountability partners contribute to sustained efforts toward success while reinforcing social bonds that enrich both participants’ lives beyond their individual aspirations.

Routines

Art Markman, Ph.D., explains that, “A consistent mapping means that the behaviors you perform to achieve a particular goal are associated with some set of circumstances in the environment that is always the same.” He continues, “When you always perform a particular behavior in a unique environment, habits are easy to form” (Markman, 2015).

If our goal is working out at the gym, we need a routine that leads up to the exercise. I ride a stationary bike. I have a routine that begins with turning on the bike, mixing a Gatorade with water, and putting on my riding shoes. This simple routine always begins with flipping on a power switch. However, once the power switch is on, the rest of the routine flows without effort. I found I don’t need motivation to ride for an hour, I just need to stay motivated long enough to flip the switch, requiring only a small push with my finger.

Changing Unhealthy Routines

Breaking habits works much the same way, except we must disrupt routines, rearrange our environments that lead to the disliked behavior. For example, if you always grab a Twinkie from the cabinet when making lunch, move the Twinkies to a different cabinet. Force yourself to think about choices you prefer to abandon.

• Put your credit cards in a different pocket in the wallet 
• Reverse your shopping routine, start on the other side of the store
• Put the television remote on the other side of the room
• Move the soda to the outside refrigerator
• Delete the twitter app icon from your home screen

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Use the power of routine to your advantage. Richard Thaler and Cass Sunstein wrote, “First, never underestimate the power of inertia. Second, that power can be harnessed” (Thaler & Sunstein, 2009). Success is often a matter of changing inertia, breaking old routines and establishing new ones. In the science backed book Influencer, Joseph Grenny and his colleagues emphasize that, “It is the lack of thought, not the presence of thought that enables our bad behavior” (Grenny et al., 2013, p. 94).

Obstacle Planning

No matter how motivated and purposeful our goal, we will encounter obstacles—plenty of them. Our ultimate success comes from surviving the wallops of unpredictable events. We need precise plans for implementation. But just as important as the implementation plans are the plans we make for surviving obstacles (Murphy, 2024). Paul Dolan taught, “We should expect the best and have a contingency plan for the worst” (Dolan, 2014).

Jeremy Dean, Ph.D., founder of PsyBlog, suggests preparation for obstacles with “if-then” plans. If this happens, then I will respond this way. These plans automate escape routes when troubles are encountered, lessening the need for thinking during critical moments. Dean provides these examples in his book Making Habits:

• “If I feel scared of the dance class, then I will remember that everyone is a beginner and scared of looking stupid.”
• “If I feel too tired to practice the piano after work, then I will first listen to some inspirational music to help motivate me” (Dean, 2013).

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We can’t risk leaving critical responses to times when our minds are over-taxed. Creatively write out dozens of “if-then” responses. The practice greases your mind for finding solutions. Even when the exact obstacle wasn’t forecasted, this practice of finding solutions eases the burden of thinking on the spot.

Surviving Lapses

An essential “if-then” plan must be in place for lapses. They happen. We slip. Whether the lapse is in sobriety, diet, or relationship behaviors, we must have a planned attack for getting back on track. As a personal trainer, I always emphasized a key to fitness is our ability to start to work out—again. With fitness, we encounter injuries, outside interference, and temporary motivation insufficiencies. The belief we will never lag in determination is foolish.

My grandpa warned me after being bucked off of his horse, “don’t let that horse beat you, get back on her.” What was true on the dairy farm is also true in life. We must courageously get back on that horse.

We must avoid at all costs our oh-the-hell-with-it reaction to failure. Certainly, we can evaluate the appropriateness of a goal, examining the match-fit between goal and our desires; however, we never want to quit a doable goal because it is a little more difficult than we planned. Truthfully, most worthwhile goals are a little more difficult than we plan.

Associated Concepts

• S.M.A.R.T. Goals: SMART goals are a framework for setting and achieving objectives effectively. The acronym stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
• Self-Determination Theory: This theory of human motivation and personality concerns people’s inherent growth tendencies and innate psychological needs.
• Goal-Setting Theory: This theory suggests setting specific, challenging goals can lead to higher performance and motivation. The theory emphasizes the importance of clear, well-defined objectives in driving individual and organizational success.
• Theory of Planned Behavior (TPB): This theory outlines the factors influencing human behavior. TPB suggests that an individual’s behavioral intentions are determined by their attitude toward the behavior, subjective norms, and perceived behavioral control.
• Achievement Goal Theory: This theory is a psychological framework that aims to understand how individuals’ beliefs about competence and the reasons behind their actions influence their behavior and motivation.
• Growth Motivation: This refers to the inner drive or desire to continuously develop and improve oneself, whether it be in personal, professional, or emotional aspects. Individuals with growth motivation are often focused on setting and achieving goals, expanding their knowledge and skills, and adapting to new experiences.
• Motivational Orientation: This concept refers to an individual’s underlying motivation to accomplish tasks, goals, or activities. It reflects the underlying motivations that drive a person’s behavior and influence their choices.
• The Progress Principle: This principle suggests that individuals derive a sense of satisfaction and motivation from making progress towards meaningful goals.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

As we navigate the intricate landscape of personal motivation, it’s crucial to proactively design plans that not only harness our bursts of enthusiasm but also sustain our momentum over time. Just like a surfer expertly rides the waves, we must learn to capitalize on those fleeting moments of inspiration, crafting actionable steps that align with our aspirations.

By establishing clear paths toward goal attainment—whether through setting specific milestones or creating structured routines—we can transform temporary drive into lasting commitment. Remember, it’s in these moments of clarity and excitement when we lay the groundwork for future successes.

Yet, as we’ve seen throughout this journey, motivation is inherently dynamic; it will ebb and flow like the tides. There will be days when the wave seems to flatten beneath us, making it easy to lose sight of our dreams. During these times, having robust strategies in place becomes paramount—reminding ourselves why we started and re-engaging with supportive networks can reignite our passion even when challenges arise. So let’s embrace both the exhilarating highs and inevitable lows with open arms.

Last Update: January 13, 2026

References:

Dean, Jeremy (2013). Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do things, Why We Don’t and How to Make any change Stick. Da Capo Lifelong Books; Illustrated edition. ISBN-10: 0306822628
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Deci, Edward L.; Flaste, Richard (1996). Why We Do What We Do: Understanding Self-Motivation. Penguin Books; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 0399140476
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Dolan, Paul (2014). Happiness by Design: Change What You Do, Not How You Think. Avery. ISBN-10: 0147516307
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Grenny, Joseph; Patterson, Kerry; Maxfield, David; McMillan, Ron; Switzler, Al (2013). Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change. McGraw Hill; 2nd edition. ISBN: 9780071808866
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Markman, Art (2015). Smart Change: Five Tools to Create New and Sustainable Habits in Yourself and Others. Tarcher-Perigee; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 039916412X
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Murphy, T. Franklin (2025). Unlocking Human Potential: The Power of Reinforcement in Behavioral Psychology. Psychology Fanatic. Published 1-9-2025; Accessed: 5-9-2025. Website: https://psychologyfanatic.com/behavior-reinforcement/
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Murphy, T. Franklin (2024). Maximize Your Success: Effective Contingency Planning for Achieving Personal Goals. Psychology Fanatic. Published: 12-15-2024; Accessed: 5-9-2025. Website: https://psychologyfanatic.com/contingency-planning/
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Ryan, Richard & Deci, Edward (2000). Self-Determination Theory and the Facilitation of Intrinsic Motivation, Social Development, and Well-Being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78. DOI: 10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
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Schneider, Susan M. (2012). The Science of Consequences: How They Affect Genes, Change the Brain, and Impact Our World. ‎Prometheus. ISBN: 9781616146627; APA Record: 2012-34420-000
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Thaler, Richard H., Sunstein, Cass R. (2009). Nudge: Improving Decisions about Health, Wealth and Happiness. Yale University Press; Revised & Expanded edition. ISBN-13: 9780300262285; APA Record: 2008-03730-000
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