Understanding False-Hope Syndrome: A Closer Look at Unrealistic Expectations and Disappointment

We all yearn for healing and recovery. When faced with a challenging health condition, the human spirit often clings to hope, a powerful force that can fuel resilience and inspire action. However, this unwavering optimism can sometimes veer into a dangerous territory known as false-hope syndrome. This insidious condition occurs when individuals cling to unrealistic or misleading expectations about treatment outcomes, leading to disappointment, frustration, and even despair.  

False-hope syndrome can manifest in various ways, from overestimating the effectiveness of a particular treatment to ignoring potential risks and side effects. It can be fueled by overly optimistic marketing campaigns, well-meaning but misguided support from loved ones, and an inherent human desire to believe in the best possible outcome. Understanding the nuances of false-hope syndrome is crucial, not only for patients but also for healthcare providers, family members, and anyone navigating a challenging health journey. By recognizing the signs and developing strategies to manage unrealistic expectations, we can cultivate a more realistic and sustainable approach to healing, fostering a sense of hope that is grounded in reality.

Introduction

False-Hope Syndrome is a psychological phenomenon that revolves around the cycle of unrealistic expectations followed by inevitable disappointment. This syndrome often manifests in individuals who repeatedly set ambitious goals without a realistic assessment of their capabilities or circumstances. While the initial optimism can be motivating, it frequently leads to a cycle of high expectations and subsequent failures, which can be detrimental to mental health and well-being.

Janet Polivy and C. Peter Herman wrote that self-change is “often perceived as unrealistically easy to achieve, in an unreasonably short period of time.” These false perceptions of the change process, before effort has ever begin, sets individuals up for failure. Polivy and Herman add that embarking on self-change “induces feelings of control and optimism that supersede the lessons of prior experience.” Moreover, people tend to expect “an unrealistically high payoff from successful self-change” (Polivy & Herman, 2000) .

Origins and Definition

False-Hope Syndrome was first introduced by psychologists Polivy and Herman in their research on self-change and dieting behaviors. They observed that individuals often set overly ambitious goals for weight loss, leading to a recurring pattern of temporary success followed by relapse. This phenomenon is not limited to dieting but can be observed in various aspects of life, including career aspirations, financial goals, and personal development.

Characteristics of False-Hope Syndrome

False-Hope Syndrome is characterized by several key features:

Unrealistic Expectations

Individuals with False-Hope Syndrome tend to set goals that are overly ambitious or unrealistic given their current resources, skills, and circumstances. These expectations often stem from a desire for rapid change or an overestimation of one’s abilities. Susan David, co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital of Harvard Medical School , wrote that “expectations are resentments waiting to happen” (David, 2016).

The unrealistic expectation often is not that the end goal is impossible but the expectation of the path to get there is not realistic. Polivy and Herman explain that “overinflated expectations” are related to “the amount of change that will be achieved, the speed with which the change will be accomplished, and the ease of accomplishing the change” (Polivy & Herman, 2000).

See Unrealistic Expectations for more on this topic

Catering to Our Desires for Ease

Marketers and social media influencers exploit our desire for fast and easy change. They sell products and popularity by deceiving the consumer with promises of ease. The invasion of YouTube convinces hopeful viewers that they can repeat difficult tasks from simply mimicking the actor on the video. While helpful, these videos are often heavily edited and misleading.

Polivy and Herman explain:

“The false-hope syndrome is in many respects a problem of overconfidence. One cause of overconfidence or unrealistic expectations may be the inflated promises of change programs. Groups, books, and other sources of help with changing often play into people’s fantasies that they can change enormously, and do so effortlessly and quickly, acquiring tremendous benefits” (Polivy & Herman, 2000).

The book, the social media page, the program that paints the real picture about change doesn’t attract the hopeful client. The painful truth about personal change is that it takes work, persistence, flexibility, and resources.

See Expectations and Disappointments for more on this topic.

Affective Forecasting

Typically, we don’t make goals because of the fulfillment of the goal itself, but because we believe that fulfillment of a particular goal will bring with it other benefits. For example, a person loses weight not to be thin but because they believe being thin will have social and health benefits.

Basically, we set goals because we forecast how achieving a particular goal will make us feel. In psychology, we refer to this as affective forecasting. However, we are notorious bad at this. Jonathan Haidt, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, explains that we grossly “overestimate the intensity and the duration of our emotional reactions” (Haidt, 2003). 

 Daniel Gilbert, a Professor of Psychology at Harvard University, wrote:

“Because predictions about the future are made in the present, they are invariable influenced by the present. The way we feel right now (‘I’m so hungry’) and the way we think right now (‘the big speakers sound much better than the little ones’) exert an unusually strong influence on the way we think we’ll feel later” (Gilbert, 2006).

See Affective Forecasting for more on this topic

Initial Optimism

At the onset, there is a surge of enthusiasm and optimism. This positive outlook can be highly motivating and may lead to initial progress. However, this optimism is often based on an idealized vision of the future rather than a realistic assessment of the present. Engaging in change feels good. Making goals and taking a few steps in the right direction enhances feelings of control. Just making a goal, imagining the outcomes, and doing a little research, gives boost of feel good emotions.

The whole process of imagining a better future is motivating even before we put on the gloves and get to work. Goal setting is self-reinforcing completely independent of obtaining the goals objectives.

Temporary Success

In many cases, individuals experience a brief period of success. They may achieve some of their goals or see initial improvements. This success reinforces their initial optimism and encourages them to continue. Typically, slight behavior changes have an immediate benefit. These first flashes of behavior and consequence enhances hope. However, significant change requires working through the ebb and flow of success. Establishing new habits is not an easy endeavor, full of motivating peaks, and desolate valleys.

In personal training, I would always warn clients that success will not depend on how they respond to positive changes but how they respond to moments when benefits hit a plateau or when life intervenes in the routine. A person with social anxiety can push themselves to go to a social event, feel good about themselves for doing so, and think that they have overcome their anxiety. However, this initial optimism is misguided, they still will experience fear at the next invitation.

The Progress Principle

We often succeed at small endeavors with relatively few requirements and an immediate consequence. These small successes motivate greater undertakings. It is part of the process of developing greater self-efficacy. The progress principle posits that success motivates more success. However, this may also motivate excessive expectations. Just because a person successfully runs a 5k race does not mean they can run a marathon with the same amount of effort and sacrifice.

Polivy wrote:

“Some of these self-change efforts work—we all know someone who has lost weight, given up coffee or taken up jogging. This convinces us that it is possible to alter many of our behaviors, or even aspects of ourselves, and that our new self will be better, more popular, successful or attractive, and indeed, when we do attempt to change, we often meet with some success, at least initially. Unfortunately, all too often, these early successes are followed by ‘relapses’ to our previous state when boredom or difficulty make it harder to persist at our self-change effort. Moreover, the successes we do achieve frequently do not provide the instant gratifications we had anticipated occurring to our changed selves” (Polivy, 2001).

See Progress Principle for more on this topic

Inevitable Disappointment

As time progresses, the gap between expectations and reality becomes apparent. The initial enthusiasm wanes, and individuals may struggle to maintain their progress. This often leads to feelings of frustration, disappointment, and failure. Failure does one of two things, according to Marshall Goldsmith and Mark Reiter, it may “inspire change or knock us out of the game completely” (Goldsmith & Reiter, 2015).

Failure is inevitable in new endeavors. It is the momentary setback of plans not working. If the goal is built on realistic possibilities, failure is a sign to adjust plans, and try another avenue to get to the end goal. However, when the goal itself is unrealistic, a change in plans will only provide false hope, leading to more wasted effort and another failure.

Polivy and Herman explain:

“When unreasonable expectations for self-change are not met, people are likely to feel frustrated and despondent, and to give up trying to change. The unrealistic beliefs with which they begin self- change attempts—and the corresponding unattainable criteria for success—may thus be responsible for the failure of the attempts, creating false hope and then dashing it” (Polivy & Herman, 2000).

Cycle of Repetition

Despite repeated failures, individuals with False-Hope Syndrome often fall into a pattern of setting new, similarly ambitious goals. They remain hopeful that the next attempt will be different, perpetuating the cycle of unrealistic expectations and disappointment. A cycle that ends in failure makes little sense. Failure would seem to prevent future efforts. But individuals try over and over to start a physical fitness program, quit smoking, or lose weight. In high school, I set goals to get up early and workout over and over again, only to eventually fail.

Polivy and Herman explain in the context of dieting that the solution to this apparent paradox “lies in the sequence of success and failure.” they continue: “After all, diets do not simply fail; rather they eventually fail, after initially succeeding. The early success provides the interim reinforcement that accounts for the persistence of dieters. This initial success also lays the foundation for a complex construal of the cause of the eventual failure. The dieter may be tempted, and is encouraged by diet” (Polivy & Herman, 1999).

The Cycle

• First, people undertake a difficult (or impossible) self-change task.
• Second, after some initial progress at this task, they ultimately they fail to achieve their goal.
• Next, they interpret their failure in such a way that the failure is seen as far from inevitable.
• Finally, they embark on yet another attempt, propelled by their memories of their previous, limited success and/or their positive expectations for the future (Polivy & Herman, 2002).

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Polivy and Herman explain that this cycle is liable to continue indefinitely.  

Psychological Mechanisms

Several psychological mechanisms contribute to False-Hope Syndrome:

Optimism Bias

The optimism bias refers to the tendency to overestimate the likelihood of positive events happening to us and underestimate the likelihood of negative events. Essentially, we tend to believe that good things are more likely to happen to us and bad things are less likely to happen to us compared to others. This can manifest in various ways, such as believing we are less likely to experience accidents, illnesses, or financial setbacks.

This inherent bias can have significant implications. For example, smokers may underestimate their risk of developing lung cancer, leading them to underestimate the severity of their habit. Similarly, drivers may overestimate their own driving skills and underestimate the risk of accidents, leading to more reckless behavior. While a certain degree of optimism can be beneficial, an excessive optimism bias can lead to unrealistic expectations, complacency, and ultimately, disappointment and frustration.

See Realistic Optimism for more on this concept

Motivational Factors

The desire for self-improvement and the pursuit of personal goals are powerful motivators. However, when these motivations are not grounded in reality, they can lead to the setting of unattainable goals.

See Theories of Motivation for more on these theories

Social Influence

Societal pressures and cultural norms can also play a role in False-Hope Syndrome. Sociologist Erving Goffman posits that “avoidance of shame is an important, indeed a crucial, motive in virtually all social behavior” (Goffman, 1956). In a capitalistic society, we avoid shame through success. The emphasis on success, achievement, and rapid transformation can create unrealistic standards that individuals feel compelled to meet.

See Self Presentation Theory for more on this concept

Cognitive Dissonance

Cognitive dissonance occurs when there is a discrepancy between one’s beliefs and behaviors. In the context of False-Hope Syndrome, individuals may experience discomfort when their high expectations do not align with their actual progress. To resolve this dissonance, they may adjust their beliefs to justify their continued efforts, even in the face of repeated failures.

See Cognitive Dissonance for more on this concept

Consequences of False-Hope Syndrome

The consequences of False-Hope Syndrome can be far-reaching and impact various aspects of an individual’s life:

Mental Health

The repeated cycle of high expectations and disappointment can take a toll on mental health. Individuals may experience increased stress, anxiety, and depression as a result of their perceived failures. Leon Festinger wrote that a person’s cognition—opinions and beliefs—about their situation and their appraisals of what they are capable of doing—evaluation of their abilities—will together impact their behavior. Festinger explains that the holding of “incorrect opinions and/or inaccurate appraisals of one’s abilities” can be “punishing or even fatal in many situations” (Festinger, 1954).

Self-Esteem

Continuous failure to meet unrealistic goals can erode self-esteem and self-worth. Individuals may begin to doubt their abilities and feel inadequate. Nathaniel Branden defines self esteem as a fundamental human need. He explains self-esteem “fully realized, is the experience that we are appropriate to life and to the requirements of life” (Branden, 2012). 

When life is a series of fantastic expectations and failures, it gnaws at our self-perception. In order to prop us a positive self-perception, the individual must enact a structure of deceptions to protect against the growing reality of ineffectiveness to obtain life goals. Sadly, it is not flawed ability or laziness. It is flawed expectations and goals.

See Self-Esteem for more on this topic

Relationships

False-Hope Syndrome can also strain interpersonal relationships significantly. The focus on ambitious goals may lead to a troubling neglect of personal connections, as individuals become increasingly preoccupied with their aspirations and the pursuit of unattainable perfection. This relentless drive can cause them to overlook the importance of nurturing friendships and family bonds, which are essential for emotional support and well-being. Furthermore, the subsequent disappointment from failing to meet these lofty expectations can result in withdrawal and isolation, exacerbating feelings of loneliness and despair. Over time, this emotional distance can create a rift between individuals and their loved ones, making it even more challenging to reconnect and rebuild those essential ties that contribute to a fulfilling life.

Professional Life

In a professional context, False-Hope Syndrome can lead to burnout and decreased job satisfaction, often creating a vicious cycle that further exacerbates these issues. Unrealistic career aspirations, while sometimes motivating, may ultimately result in chronic stress and a pervasive sense of unfulfillment that can permeate various aspects of life. As individuals chase after these lofty goals, they may neglect their well-being and personal relationships, leading to a decline in mental health. The pressure to meet these unattainable standards can foster feelings of inadequacy and anxiety, making it increasingly difficult to find joy in everyday accomplishments. Consequently, this syndrome not only hampers professional growth but also undermines the foundational satisfaction that comes from genuine achievements and balanced expectations.

Overcoming False-Hope Syndrome

Addressing False-Hope Syndrome requires a multifaceted approach that involves realistic goal-setting, self-awareness, and support:

Realistic Goal-Setting

Chris Dawson and David De Meza recently published research tracking 1601 subjects over an eighteen year period, comparing optimistic and pessimistic bias of finances on overall well-being. They reported that it is “not just outcomes that matter but also expectations.” Other things being equal, “overestimating outcomes and underestimating them are both associated with lower wellbeing than getting expectations about right. Realist do best” (Dawson & De Meza, 2020).

Setting achievable and realistic goals is crucial in breaking the cycle of False-Hope Syndrome. This involves assessing one’s current capabilities, resources, and circumstances. Goals should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).

See SMART Goals for more on this topic

Self-Awareness

Developing self-awareness can help individuals recognize patterns of unrealistic expectations and adjust their goals accordingly. This involves reflecting on past experiences and understanding the factors that contribute to one’s optimism bias. By engaging in this reflective process, individuals not only gain insight into their motivations and behaviors but also identify the recurring themes that may distort their perception of potential outcomes. Additionally, this heightened awareness encourages proactive adjustments to their aspirations, enabling them to set more achievable and realistic objectives that align with their true capabilities and circumstances. Ultimately, fostering self-awareness empowers people to create a balanced perspective on their goals, leading to greater fulfillment and reduced disappointment as they navigate the complexities of personal and professional endeavors.

See Self-Awareness for more on this topic

Support Systems

Seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can provide valuable guidance and encouragement during challenging times. These support systems not only foster a sense of belonging but also help individuals navigate through difficulties by offering diverse perspectives and coping strategies. Having someone to talk to can alleviate feelings of isolation, allowing individuals to express their emotions freely and without judgment. This network of support can help individuals stay grounded and maintain realistic expectations, reminding them of their strengths while also acknowledging their struggles. By sharing experiences, individuals can learn from one another, empowering them to face their challenges with resilience and hope.

See Social Support Theory for more on this topic

Incremental Progress

Focusing on incremental progress rather than immediate results can help sustain motivation and reduce the likelihood of disappointment. By recognizing that meaningful change often occurs gradually, individuals can cultivate patience and resilience in their pursuits. Celebrating small achievements along the way can reinforce positive behavior and build confidence, serving as essential milestones that highlight progress. Additionally, this approach allows individuals to appreciate their efforts, enhancing their sense of fulfillment and encouraging them to push through challenges. By continuously acknowledging these incremental advancements, one can maintain a forward momentum, ultimately leading to more significant accomplishments over time.

See Slow Change for more on this topic

Associated Concepts

• Realistic Optimism: This refers to a mindset that involves maintaining a positive outlook while also being grounded in reality. It acknowledges challenges and obstacles, but focuses on constructive ways to overcome them.
• Setbacks: This refers to a reversal or delay in progress, a temporary defeat or obstacle that hinders one’s advancement toward a goal or objective. It implies a step backward or a pause in forward momentum.
• Outcome Expectancies: These refer to the anticipated consequences (positive or negative) of engaging in a particular behavior. Depending on our outcome expectancies, they may motivate or discourage action.
• Achievement-Goal Theory: This theory provides a framework to measure the effectiveness of goals. It posits that an individual’s beliefs about their abilities and the motivations behind their actions shape their behavior.
• Progress Principle: This principle suggests that individuals derive a sense of satisfaction and motivation from making progress towards meaningful goals. This principle is based on the idea that small wins or accomplishments, even if they are minor, can have a significant positive impact on an individual’s well-being and motivation.
• Expectancy-Value Theory: It suggests that individuals’ beliefs about their ability to perform a task and the value they place on success predict their achievement goals.
• Sunk Costs: This fallacy refers to the tendency for individuals to continue investing in a failing endeavor because of the time, money, or resources they have already put into it, regardless of future outcomes. This erroneous line of thinking disregards the actual situation and evaluates choices based on past investments rather than prospective benefits.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

In our journey through life, the pursuit of healing and personal growth is often fueled by hope—a powerful catalyst for change. However, it’s vital to recognize that while hope can ignite our ambitions, understanding the pitfalls of False-Hope Syndrome empowers us to transform our aspirations into achievable realities. By cultivating realistic expectations and embracing a mindset grounded in self-awareness, we navigate the complexities of goal-setting with greater resilience. This shift enables us not only to envision a brighter future but also to take tangible steps toward it without being ensnared by unrealistic ideals.

As we reflect on the insights shared about False-Hope Syndrome, let us remember that setbacks are not failures but stepping stones along our path to success. Each small achievement paves the way for further growth, reinforcing the notion that progress is often incremental rather than instantaneous. Embracing this perspective helps shield us from disappointment while fostering a more sustainable sense of hope—one rooted in reality yet vibrant enough to inspire continuous effort and perseverance. Together, let’s commit to breaking free from false hopes and instead nurture an approach that celebrates true progress, allowing each one of us to flourish as we embark on our unique journeys toward fulfillment and wellness.

Last Update: October 5, 2025