Embracing Setbacks: Coping with Relapse During Recovery

Relapse is the dreaded word of families, programs, and most of all the person in recovery. Relapse has taken on such a negative connotation many programs and information guides has dispensed with the word all together. The stigma of addiction has softened but the opioid crisis still persists. We hope as a society, we will continue to progress, embracing sufferers on their individual paths to recovery, including the setbacks of relapse during recovery encountered during this courageous journey back to wellness. Perhaps, it’s not the word ‘relapse’ that needs to be changed but our hearts.

Every worthwhile endeavor, requiring significant change, is commonly beset with lapses. We rely too much on self-discipline as the sole mechanism to effect change. The mental resources deplete, and the courageous efforts are stymied in exhaustion. We accept this when a diet is broken, or a workout missed, but when the addicted stumble, we scorn their fall, second guess their resolve, and rush to implement harsher methods of control.

Success Depends on Skillful Response to Setbacks

Relapse is a big deal and we shouldn’t brush it off as unimportant, but it also isn’t the end of the world, signifying complete failure. We succeed in addiction recovery, diets, workout programs or any other significant behavior change when we can skillfully respond to setbacks. The skillful response is a requirement from everyone involved including the recovering addict, the family, the spouse, and the professional caregivers. Everybody has a responsibility to work through the stumbling without harsh judgments or despair, maintaining the power of hope in our hearts, and engendering it in the hearts of the person in recovery.

Recovery is a Process

Recovery is a process. It is not a single choice or a simple goal but a hard fought change in behavior. Carlos DiClemente, famous for his theories on change, wrote:

“Patterns of behavior are not usually created, modified, or stopped in a single moment in time or with a single flick of a switch. There are steps or segments to the process” (DiClemente, 2005, p. 25).

At the beginning stages of recovery, the painful moments of detox loom large in the recovering individuals head. They remind and motivate continued sobriety. However, time softens these memories. In Mary Addenbrooke’s fascinating book on addiction, she wrote:

“Unpleasant memories of detoxifying tend to fade over time and act less as a deterrent to lapses. Knowing and understanding the characteristics of addiction and the risk of relapsing are a vital part of recovery” (Addenbrooke, 2011, p. 20).

Recovery is a processes and failures, just like every other important path in life. Famous philosopher, Erich Fromm proclaimed that small justified choices slowly lead us to the dramatic conclusion. He suggests that by the time of the final choice, the decision has already been made (Fromm, 2010). Jim Orford, renown in the field of addiction, concurs. He believes consumption habits are not “simply discrete, isolated behavioural acts.” Orford continues, “but rather as whole sequences and chains of actions which. . . lead up to consumption . . . accompanied by a host of cues, prompts and encouragements” (Orford, 2013, p. 54).

Relapses are predictable and therefore can be prevented or minimized with proper guidance and support.

See Stumbling Forward for more on this topic

Recovery After Detox

The journey to prolonged sobriety encompasses much more than simply breaking free from the biological chains of chemical addiction. While it is crucial to address and overcome physical dependence, we must also recognize the significant emotional and psychological elements that contribute to substance use.

Many individuals turn to addictive behaviors as a means of coping with overwhelming emotional stressors in their lives—be it anxiety, trauma, or feelings of inadequacy. This reliance on substances can create a false sense of relief, allowing individuals to escape their problems temporarily while simultaneously deepening their disconnection from reality. As such, addressing only the biological aspect without considering these underlying emotional issues can lead to incomplete recovery.

As one embarks on the path toward sobriety, they often find themselves stripped bare of the protective barriers that addiction once provided. This newfound vulnerability can be daunting; recovering addicts may face raw emotions and unresolved traumas that they had long suppressed through substance use.

The absence of those artificial shields forces them to confront challenges head-on, including social pressures and personal struggles that were previously masked by their addiction. It is essential for individuals in recovery to develop healthy coping mechanisms and establish meaningful connections with supportive communities during this phase. By acknowledging both the biological and emotional facets of addiction—and actively working through them—recovering individuals lay a solid foundation for lasting change and true healing in their lives.

See Addiction Detox for more on this topic

Learning to Live Again

Throughout the months and years consumed by addiction, it is easy to lose sight of the complexities and difficulties that accompany sober life. The singular focus on overcoming the grip of substance dependence often leads individuals to believe that once they achieve sobriety, all their problems will simply vanish.

Many envision a seamless transition back to normalcy—returning to stable employment, nurturing loving relationships, and enjoying a fulfilling home life as if these things were waiting for them right at the finish line. However, this notion can be misleading; it overlooks the harsh realities that come with navigating life without substances. The challenges faced during active addiction are not magically resolved upon achieving sobriety; rather, they may resurface in new forms or intensify due to unaddressed emotional pain.

Lawrence Heller points out that attempts to stop addictive behaviors often fail until a healthier form of self-regulation can replace the unhealthy one (Heller & LaPierre, 2012). Replacing addictive behaviors withe healthy alternatives is much better than simply halting an unhealthy behavior.

Rebuilding a Life

Recovery is the process of rebuilding a life. Antonio Damasio explains:

“Substances of abuse can temporarily restore homeostasis disrupted by frustrations and anxieties. Without the substance, these underlying pressures remain and need to be addressed” (Damasio, 2010).

By remove the only method a person has relied on for resolving the frustrations and anxieties of life, they will immediately be knocked out of a homeostatic balance (Murphy, 2021). These imbalances are a major source of motivation for action. Without guidance and support, the recovering person will return to their personal history for resolving the discomfort.

Consequently, when recovering individuals encounter stressors or triggers in their sober lives—be it relationship issues, financial struggles, or professional setbacks—they may feel overwhelmed and ill-equipped to cope with such challenges without resorting back to their previous habits. Relapse can become an alluring option again, presenting itself as a misguided solution offering immediate relief from discomfort but ultimately leading down a path of long-term destruction.

To combat this cycle, those in recovery must cultivate resilience through developing healthy coping mechanisms and fostering supportive connections within their communities. By acknowledging that sobriety does not equate to an absence of struggle but rather presents its own unique set of trials—and approaching them with patience and self-compassion—individuals can build a more sustainable foundation for lasting change in their lives while steering clear of relapse’s deceptive allure.

Recovery Path

The recovery process must work through, without ignorance to evidence-based practices, a personalized journey. The sneers and rejection of others, especially important others, only serves to weaken necessary connections to successfully maintain and return to sobriety. Human compassion gives energy to the process. Carl Rogers’ humanistic theories, giving unmitigated positive regard and emotional attunement, provides a safe environment for the afflicted to process the emotional challenges of sobriety and develop healthy adaptations to fierce realities of living.

See Humanistic Psychology for more on this topic

Preventing Relapse in Recovery

Relapse can be a significant challenge for individuals in recovery. Here are some strategies to help prevent relapse and stay on the path to recovery:

1. Build a Strong Support Network:

• Connect with others in recovery: Join support groups or find mentors who understand your experiences.
• Lean on loved ones: Develop strong relationships with family and friends who support your recovery.

See Social Support Theory for more on this strategy

2. Develop Healthy Coping Mechanisms:

• Identify triggers: Recognize situations or emotions that might lead to relapse.
• Learn healthy coping skills: Practice relaxation techniques, mindfulness, or hobbies.
• Seek professional help: Talk to a therapist or counselor for guidance.

See Healthy Coping Mechanisms for more on this strategy

3. Avoid High-Risk Situations:

• Identify triggers: Determine situations or people that might tempt you to relapse.
• Create a plan: Develop strategies to avoid or manage high-risk situations.

See High Risk Situations for more on this strategy

4. Practice Self-Care:

• Prioritize physical health: Eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep.
• Take care of your mental health: Practice mindfulness, meditation, or other stress-reduction techniques.
• Engage in hobbies: Find activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

See Self-Care for more on this strategy

5. Stay Committed to Recovery:

• Focus on your goals: Remember why you started your recovery journey.
• Celebrate your progress: Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small.
• Be patient: Recovery is a process, and setbacks are normal.

See Commitment to Change for more on this strategy

6. Seek Professional Help:

• Don’t hesitate to reach out: If you’re struggling, seek help from a therapist or counselor.
• Consider a recovery program: A structured program can provide support and guidance.

See Different Therapy Styles for more on this strategy

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By implementing these strategies, you can increase your chances of staying in recovery and building a healthier, happier life.

Associated Concepts

• Goal Setting Theory: This theory identifies a framework for successful goals. It suggests setting specific, challenging goals can lead to higher performance and motivation. The theory emphasizes the importance of clear, well-defined objectives in driving individual and organizational success.
• Stages of Change: These are also known as the transtheoretical model, describe a series of stages that individuals may go through when making a significant behavior change.
• Self-Efficacy Theory: Developed by Albert Bandura, this theory focuses on the belief in one’s capabilities to organize and execute the courses of action required to manage prospective situations.
• Cumulative Risk Theory: This theory refers to the concept that individuals may face an increased risk of negative outcomes when they are simultaneously exposed to multiple risk factors, rather than just one.
• Seemingly Insignificant Choices: Theses are the small decisions that appear to have little consequence on the final desired outcomes in our life. However, they are the foundation of success or the deceptive road to relapse.
• Planning Stage of Recovery: This stage of recovery is the third stage in the process of behavior change. It follows the contemplation stage and precedes the action stage. During the planning stage, individuals are actively preparing to take specific steps to modify their behavior.
• Excuses and Relapse: This refers to an unconscious searching for a reasonable excuse to blame for relapse.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

Be patient, keep hope alive, and lean upon external resources during your journey of recovery. It is essential to recognize that the path to sobriety is often fraught with challenges and setbacks. Compassionately examining relapse allows individuals to understand it not as a definitive failure but rather as a part of the learning process. Embracing this perspective fosters resilience and encourages continued efforts toward personal growth. Each stumble brings valuable lessons, enabling one to navigate future obstacles more effectively.

In moments of difficulty, remember that a fall does not signify ultimate destruction; instead, it can serve as an opportunity for introspection and renewed determination. Recovery is about progress rather than perfection, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion in overcoming adversity. By standing up after each setback, brushing off the dust from your jeans, and moving forward with newfound wisdom, you build a stronger foundation for lasting change. The journey may be long and winding, but with patience and hope guiding you along the way, every step taken—no matter how small—contributes to a brighter future ahead.

Last Update: December 21, 2025

Resources:

Addenbrooke, Mary (2011) Survivors of Addiction: Narratives of Recovery. Routledge; 1 edition. ISBN: 9781583917251; APA Record: 2011-15496-000
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Damasio, Antonio (2010). Self Comes to Mind: Constructing the Conscious Brain. Vintage; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 030747495X; APA Record: 2010-24474-000
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DiClemente, Carlos C. (2005) Addiction and Change, Second Edition: How Addictions Develop and Addicted People Recover. The Guilford Press; Second edition. ISBN-10: 146253323X; APA Record: 2017-40890-000
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Fromm, Erich (2010) The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil. American Mental Health Foundation. Basic Books. ISBN: 9781590561867
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Heller, Lawrence; LaPierre, Aline (2012). Healing Developmental Trauma: How Early Trauma Affects Self-Regulation, Self-Image, and the Capacity for Relationship. North Atlantic Books; 1st edition. ISBN-10: 1583944893
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Murphy, T. Franklin (2021). Understanding Homeostasis: The Key to Balance and Survival. Psychology Fanatic. Published: 8-16-2021; Accessed: 4-11-2025. Website: https://psychologyfanatic.com/homeostasis/
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Orford, Jim (2013) Power, Powerlessness and Addiction. Cambridge University Press. ISBN: 9781107610095; DOI: 10.1017/CBO9781139540971
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