Choosing Happiness: Unveiling the Myth of a Simple Decision

“Happiness is a choice,” we hear; the accusatory finger pointed at the sad. We are told, “if you suffer, struggle or feel sad, it’s a choice.” Happiness, they explain, is a simple decision, like choosing which color of shirt to wear. I disagree. Moods don’t always change by simply declaring, “today, I am going to be happy.” Choosing happiness is more than a quick decision but a series of behaviors that invite happiness.

​Our moods and our emotions have evolutionary purposes—survival implications. We can, to a certain degree, manipulate emotions through mind games, discounting biological warnings, dismissing guilt, and convincing ourselves wrong is right.

​Defense mechanisms, an unconscious version of this distorting process, do just that—change the perspective to soothe disruptions. Emotions guide behavior in response to experience; being happy all the time disrupts the purpose of emotion.

Key Definition:

Happiness is a Choice refers to a new age positivity belief that individuals who experience distressing emotions are choosing their emotion.

​Pleasure Centers in the Brain

Pleasure plays a fundamental role in human motivation by acting as a powerful driving force for behavior. The experience of pleasure is an essential part of an entire system, motivating survival oriented behaviors. Pleasure experienced in contrast to other emotions creates a chemical marking, identifying an experience as important. If we experienced a static state of happiness, our ability to learn from the environment would be seriously hampered.

Here’s a brief explanation:

• Reward System: Pleasure activates our brain’s reward system, releasing neurotransmitters like dopamine, which create feelings of satisfaction and enjoyment.
• Motivation for Action: The anticipation and experience of pleasure motivate us to engage in behaviors that are essential for survival and well-being, such as seeking food, water, and shelter, as well as engaging in social interactions and pursuing personal goals.
• Learning and Reinforcement: Pleasure reinforces behaviors that lead to positive outcomes, increasing the likelihood that we will repeat those behaviors in the future. This is a key principle of operant conditioning.
• Intrinsic Motivation: Engaging in activities that bring us intrinsic pleasure, such as hobbies, creative pursuits, and spending time with loved ones, enhances our overall well-being and contributes to a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

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In essence, the pursuit of pleasure is a fundamental human drive that motivates us to explore, learn, grow, and connect with others.

Scientists during a 1954 experiment stumbled on an interesting finding. They implanted electrodes on the medial forebrain bundle of rats, then hooked the connection to a small pressing bar that enabled the animals to fire the electrodes. By pressing the bar, the rats stimulated a pleasure center in the brain. Stimulating pleasure took precedence over all other rat activities. The rats would press the bar to excess, foregoing food or sex. The implanted electrodes bypassed normal emotional drives, creating pleasure, but interfering with normal survival behaviors (Eccles, 1989).

Purpose of Emotion

Emotions serve a vital role in human survival and well-being. They act as powerful internal signals that guide our behavior and shape our interactions with the world. Susan David, a psychologist and faculty member at Harvard Medical School, describes emotions as “a neurochemical system that evolved to help us navigate life’s complex currents” (David, 2016).

Firstly, emotions provide crucial information about our environment and our relationship with it. Fear, for example, alerts us to potential danger, prompting us to take action to protect ourselves. Joy signals that we are engaged in fulfilling activities and reinforces behaviors that lead to positive outcomes. Sadness can motivate us to seek support and comfort from others, while anger can motivate us to assert our boundaries and address injustice.  

Secondly, emotions play a crucial role in social communication and bonding. Facial expressions, vocal tones, and body language convey our emotional states to others, facilitating understanding and connection. Emotions such as empathy, compassion, and love are essential for building and maintaining healthy relationships.  

In essence, emotions are not simply subjective feelings; they are essential for our survival, social interactions, and overall well-being. They provide valuable information about our internal and external worlds, motivate our actions, and shape our relationships with others. If we were to have the power to choose our emotions, his fabulous evolutionary element that drives healthy living and relationships would be seriously compromised.

Drug Addiction and Happiness​

​Severe drug addiction creates a similar disruption. The intoxicated state relieves anxiety while interfering with better adaptations to escape, ultimately, creating more problems than the original anxiety ridden moments that induced pleasures covered. Living requires exposure to adverse happenings. We grow through the challenges, disappointments and losses. We shouldn’t hide from the world, convincing ourselves to smile, finding relief in an apathetic trance of happiness.

I do agree, however, that happiness is a choice; not a choice on how to feel but determined by how we live; similar to choosing to be intelligent. We don’t become intelligent from deceitful poems declaring knowledge; we must choose activities that educate. We gain knowledge through reading, attending school, and engaging in challenging discussions. Through effort, we become educated.

​We can feign knowledge by limiting experience, avoiding explorations, and conversing with other shallow minds that agree with our simple premises. We may feel smart; but stupidity remains.​

See Understanding Addiction for more on this topic

Influencing Happiness

​Choosing happiness, real happiness, requires more than manipulation of the emotional system. The emotions direct behaviors to escape danger and pounce on opportunities. We shouldn’t feel happy if we are doing the wrong things, violating trusts, sacrificing the future, or damaging our health. The body warns of these deviations from wisdom with guilt, shame, or sadness. We must be responsive to these feelings, not a happy zombie oblivious to reality.

While we often think of emotions as something we simply experience, we have a significant degree of influence over them. Unlike choosing specific emotions on demand, we can strategically influence the emotional landscape of our lives through our choices of behaviors, the environments we cultivate, and the way we interpret events.

Role of Behaviors and Environments in Happiness

Our behaviors play a crucial role in shaping our emotional experiences. Engaging in activities that bring us joy, such as spending time in nature, pursuing hobbies, or connecting with loved ones, naturally cultivates positive emotions. Conversely, engaging in unhealthy behaviors like excessive alcohol consumption or substance abuse can lead to negative emotional states. Similarly, the environments we choose to inhabit significantly impact our emotional well-being. Spending time in nature, surrounding ourselves with positive and supportive people, and creating a comfortable and nurturing home environment can all contribute to increased happiness and reduced stress.

Explanatory Style

Perhaps most significantly, our explanatory style – the way we interpret and explain events in our lives – profoundly influences our emotions. Martin Seligman, pioneering founder and leading figure in positive psychology, explains that we “develop habits of explanation which can be described as an explanation style” (Seligman, 2006). Our attributional and explanatory style is expressed through our “propensity towards optimism or pessimism and in turn, subsequent positive or negative mental states and outcomes” (Houston, 2019).

A pessimistic explanatory style, which attributes negative events to internal, stable, and global factors (e.g., “I’m a failure,” “I’ll never succeed at anything,” “I’m bad at everything”), tends to perpetuate negative emotions like sadness, anger, and frustration.

In contrast, an optimistic explanatory style, which attributes negative events to external, temporary, and specific factors (e.g., “This was a difficult situation,” “I’ll learn from this mistake,” “This doesn’t define me”), fosters resilience and promotes a more positive emotional outlook. By consciously cultivating an optimistic explanatory style and challenging negative thought patterns, we can significantly influence our emotional experiences and cultivate greater happiness and well-being.

See Explanatory Style for more on this topic

Associated Concepts

• Happy All the Time: This refers to the unrealistic expectation that one should experience pleasant emotions all the time. When life is discomforting, or one’s needs are not met, these beliefs create an outburst of emotions.
• Eudaimonia: This is a Greek term often translated as “happiness” or “well-being.” It represents a state of flourishing, where an individual experiences a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and overall thriving in life.
• Broaden-and-Build Theory: This theory in positive psychology, proposed by Barbara Fredrickson, suggests that positive emotions broaden an individual’s thought-action repertoire, leading to increased creativity, resilience, and overall well-being.
• Sustainable Happiness: This a long-lasting sense of well-being and contentment that is not dependent on external circumstances. It encompasses a deep fulfillment that comes from meaningful relationships, personal growth, contributing to the community, and living in harmony with the environment.
• Emotional Equilibrium: This refers to a state of balance and stability in one’s emotional well-being, allowing for adaptive responses to events. Achieving this balance may involve self-care, self-regulation, cognitive reappraisal, and counterbalancing techniques. It is a lifelong practice.
• Ask the Universe: This positive psychology practice involves articulating your desires and intentions to the universe with the belief that your thoughts and energy will attract corresponding positive outcomes. This practice emphasizes the power of positive thinking and the alignment of one’s thoughts, emotions, and actions with their desired goals.

A Few Words from Psychology Fanatic

We need to quit stimulating pleasure zones through deceptions, pushing levers that feel good but serve no purpose, convincing ourselves things are alright when they are not, dodging responsibility when we are responsible, and avoiding explorations that reveal our limitations. Instead, we should choose happiness by creating happiness, developing skills that improve our lives. Some avenues to pursue may include: optimism, compassion, integrity, following passions, enthusiasm, patience, kindness, and healthy relationships. This is not an exhaustive list.

We can improve our experience. Healthy behaviors, when integrated into our lives, create happiness. We must purposely work to develop a healthy environment. Slow down, quit pushing the happiness lever and start making proper choices, knowing what you want, learning how to get it, and moving towards those intentions.

By making healthy choices, we choose to be happy. So yes, my dear friends, “Happiness is a choice.”

Last Update: December 4, 2025

​References:

David, Susan (2016). Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Avery; First Edition. ISBN-10: 1592409490
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Eccles, John C. (1989) Evolution of the Brain: Creation of the Self. Publisher: Routledge, London. ISBN: 9780415032247; DOI: 10.4324/9780203976661
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Houston, Elaine (2019) What Are Attributional and Explanatory Styles in Psychology? Positive Psychology. Published: 3-11-2019; Accessed: 1-25-2025. Website: https://positivepsychology.com/explanatory-styles-optimism/
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Seligman, Martin E. P. (2006). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Vintage. ISBN-13: 978-1400078394
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