Introduction to Fear of Change

Fear of change can range from normal discomfort from unfamiliar circumstances to maladaptive intense anxiety from the slightest differences in the environment, such as a coffee mug placed in the wrong location on the desk. We stubbornly cling to ideas, habits, and environments, resisting anything that interferes with the comforting sameness.

We may give lip service to the glorious concepts of personal growth, but in reality, we drag our feet, find excuses, and complain when faced with change.

Don D. Jackson wrote that we constantly engage in a tug-of-war by conflicting tendencies.

“The thrust forward, the push toward change, renewal, and growth, is violently or stubbornly resisted by an equal will to maintain what is and has been, reinforced by rigid personal, interpersonal, and cultural systems grounded in fear of the unknown” (Jackson, 1967).

One of the odd conflicts of life is that environments constantly change but our inner states demand for unchanging equilibrium. Our mental health largely relies on how well we adapt to the changing external environments to minimize the internal fluctuations. While some level of apprehension towards change is normal, metathesiophobia is a more severe and debilitating condition that can significantly impact a person’s life.

Dr. Stephanie Thornton, psychologist and former lecturer in child psychology, wrote:

“Being a little afraid of change is not a bad thing: a little anxiety can bring an edge to a new challenge, a more focused engagement-even a little excitement. But too much fear of change can be destructive, undermining or derailing our efforts, and even affecting our mental health. There is a definite and well-established connection between changes in life situation and the onset of mental health problems from anxiety disorders and depression through to major mental illnesses such as schizophrenia” (Thornton, 2016).

Sameness is Comforting

Significant change challenges resolves.  The same ole life, the same ole disappointments, and the same ole comforts appeals to the senses; the pain we know lures us away from the pain we don’t. Many consciously claim a desire to change but oddly reject new opportunities, dismissing the opportunity by justifying their avoidance as wise instead of correctly labelling it as fear of change.. New challenges present a possibility of failure—at least short-term failure. Diverting course from comfortably known limits ignites the powerful anxieties of unknowns that accompany change.

Harriet Lerner, influential scholar in relationship dynamics and self-definition, wrote:

“Two things will never change: the will to change and the fear of change. Both are essential to our well-being and to the preservation of our relationships. We all move back and forth between our desire to learn, risk, experiment, and grow—and our anxiety about doing so. Change brings loss in its wake, even when it’s a change we truly and deeply want to make” (Lerner, 2005).

See Longing for Sameness for more on this topic

Comforting Failure

​We get friendly with the recurring failures. The stumblings, the drama, the confines become comfortable—old friends we want to be around. We’ve learned to maintain status quo with the limiting relationships, dead-end career, and financial stresses. The repeating failures are palatable; we’re use to them. But new failures are more salient, proving our inadequacy, exposing our lack. We fear change. So, we return to the same abusive partner, apply for the same dead-end jobs, and fail at the same restrictive diets.

In transactional analysis, the theory posts we live by a life script. Claude Steiner defines scripts as the blueprint we follow for a life course” (Steiner, 1984). We get stuck in losing life scripts and because of our fear of change, we desperately hold to the tragic plot, hurling ourselves forward in an unremarkable, meaningless life. We avoid newness, continual effort, and challenging goals because they push us from our comfortable scripts, requiring dangerous journeys into the unknown where failure is possible.

However, failure while chasing courageous goals expands our souls, delivering new experiences, and sharpening neglected skills. The courage to move forward sets a new standard; we face fear without bowing to them.  We can’t avoid all anxiety if we want better futures. However, we can manage some of the anxiety with effective regulation strategies.

See Life Scripts for more on this topic

“The only thing I fear more than change is no change. The business of being static makes me nuts.”

~Twyla Tharp

Impact of Excessive Fear of Change

Rod Mitchell, a registered psychologist and founder of Therapy Calgary, explains:

“Fear of change is our brain’s natural way of reacting to new and unfamiliar situations. This fear comes from not knowing what to expect and worrying about our ability to cope with the outcome. It’s a basic survival instinct that helps keep us safe by encouraging us to stick to what we know” (French, 2024).

Changes signal a need for adjustment, jolting our minds to pay attention. It sets in motion a normal biological process that we commonly refer to as the stress response. Any changes, good or bad, produce stress. Hans Selye explains that we have a basic biological reaction to stress “irrespective of the agent used to produce stress” (Selye, 1951). However, not every agent produces the same amount of stress, and not every individual experiences the same reaction to a stressor. Learning and genetic configurations combine to produce a very individual stress reaction.

For some, slight changes ignite Intense anxiety. In extreme, fear of change is characterized as a phobia. In these cases changes sets in motion seemingly unmanageable anxiety and distress. This reaction is manifest in physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating, and difficulty breathing.

While change produces stress in everyone, for those suffering from metathesiophobia it overwhelms their system. A normal reaction to change is a behavioral adaptation. Basically, the environmental change creates bodily stress which motivates a behavioral response which effectively reduces the anxiety. For those with abnormal reactions to change, the stress overwhelms motivating maladaptive reactions such as avoidance, anger, or depression.

See General Adaptation Syndrome for on more on this topic

​”​We are afraid—we fear the unknown, we fear uncertainty, we fear failure and success—and our fear limits us, blocks us.”

~Dan Garro

Moving Through the Fear of Change

By moving through our fear of change, instead of away from it, we become free from the constraints of the past. The natural anxiety of newness reminds to proceed carefully, “watch out this is new territory.” We must remain mindful, carefully gathering information and seeking support. Newness pushes us from the automatic mode. We must expend energy to evaluate new stimuli.

​Reliance on new knowledge and untested skills must be bolstered with determination; much more demanding than thoughtless actions in comfortable environments. If we chose, we may avoid anxiety by avoiding opportunity, comfortably staying with the same things, behaviors and people, living the comfortable mindless life. Perhaps, I suggest, if we do choose avoidance, we should accept the choice and stop complaining, living with the trade-off.

Normal levels of anxiety preventing healthy adaptation may respond well to a mindful contingency plan that imposes a new chain of reactions to fear inducing stimuli. However, if the fear of change is excessive more extreme measures must be taken to improve the condition. These conditions often require therapy and/ or medication.

Common therapies to treat fear of change, include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• Exposure Therapy
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
• Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction

See Therapy Styles for more therapy options

Associated Concepts

• Fear of Failure: This refers to the anxiety or apprehension related to the anticipation of failing at a task or in a specific situation. It can lead individuals to avoid taking risks or attempting new challenges due to the perceived negative consequences of failing.
• Avoidance (A Defense Mechanism): This defense mechanism is characterized by steering clear of thoughts, feelings, or situations that are perceived as threatening or distressing.
• Self-Handicapping: This refers to behaviors or actions people take to create obstacles or excuses that can explain potential failures. This strategy is often used to protect one’s self-esteem and self-image from the negative impact of failing to achieve a goal
• Behavioral Activation System (BAS): This is a neurological network, regulates goal-directed behavior, motivation, and reward processing. It interacts independently with the Behavioral Inhibition System, affecting personality and psychopathology.
• Achievement-Goal Theory: This motivation theory provides a psychological framework that aims to understand how individuals’ beliefs about competence and the reasons behind their actions influence their behavior and motivation.
• Motivation Orientation: This refers to an individual’s underlying motivation to accomplish tasks, goals, or activities. It reflects the underlying motivations that drive a person’s behavior and influence their choices.
• Force Field Analysis: This is a diagnostic tool used to identify the forces for and against a change, developed by Kurt Lewin. By visualizing these “driving” and “restraining” forces, individuals can determine how to shift the balance. This approach helps them achieve their desired goal effectively.
• Approach-Avoidance Theory: This theory suggests that individuals are motivated to approach desirable stimuli and to avoid undesirable ones. This theory, proposed by psychologist Kurt Lewin, highlights the internal conflict people experience when they are simultaneously attracted to and repelled by the same goal or situation.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

When we fail to leave the confines of comfortable failure, for the greener pastures of opportunity, we are not a victim of circumstance but of fear. The fear dictates our life; not freedom.

We can only accomplish forages into unknown territory with a stable mind. Security is essential; we need a secure base. We can’t continuously survive in the unknown wilderness. We do need the comfort of home. But for real growth, we must routinely brave travels beyond the secure boundaries of comfort, leaving normal behind momentarily and then return back to the warm shelter of home. Healthy growth requires both security and exploration. We must engage in some exploration to experience a richer, deeper life; A life of purpose.

Last updated: December 8, 2025

References:

French, Mandy (2024). Fear of change: What it is and how to cope. Medical News Today. Published: 3-12-2024; Accessed: 12-31-2024. Website: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/fear-of-change-phobia
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Jackson, Don D. (2010). The Fear of Change (1967). Journal of Systemic Therapies, 29(2), 69-73. DOI: 10.1521/jsyt.2010.29.2.69
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Lerner, Harriet (2005). The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self. ‎Perennial Currents; Reprint edition. ISBN-10: 0060081589
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Selye, Hans (1951). The General-Adaptation-Syndrome. Annual Review of Medicine, 2(1), 327-342. DOI: 10.1146/annurev.me.02.020151.001551
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Steiner, Claude M. (1984). Games Alcoholics Play. Ballantine Books; Reissue edition. ISBN-13: ‎978-0345323835
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Thornton, Stephanie (2016). Fear of change: Helping children and young people cope. British Journal of School Nursing, 11(6), 299-301. DOI: 10.12968/bjsn.2016.11.6.299
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