Loving Kindness Meditation, also known as “Metta Bhavana” in Pali, is a popular form of meditation that originates from the Buddhist tradition. This practice focuses on cultivating an attitude of love and kindness towards oneself and others. Through the repetition of specific phrases or mantras, practitioners aim to develop feelings of compassion, empathy, and goodwill.
Cruelty abounds, groups of people taking arms against others. A simple openness on social media invites the meanness of the unscrupulous, attacking ideas and bullying the weak. What happened to the virtue of loving kindness? Is kindness a worn out ideal belonging to the past? Perhaps, it’s time to refocus on virtues rather than engaging in endless competitive races that take advantage of weakness and vanquish enemies. One of the greatest virtues a man or woman can possess is kindness, for kindness closes gaps, builds bridges, and invites love. We should express loving kindness. perhaps a meditation practice of loving kindness would help cultivate this vanishing virtue.
Key Definition:
Loving kindness, also known as mettā in Pali, is a form of meditation and a key tenet in Buddhism. It involves cultivating an attitude of love and benevolence towards oneself and others. Practitioners focus on generating feelings of compassion, empathy, and goodwill, aiming to develop a mindset of unselfish and unconditional love. The practice of loving kindness is believed to promote inner peace, reduce negative emotions, and foster harmonious relationships with others.
Origins and Principles
The Loving Kindness Meditation traces its roots to ancient texts, such as the “Metta Sutta” in the Pali Canon, where the Buddha encouraged his followers to develop boundless loving-kindness towards all beings. The practice emphasizes the interconnectedness of humanity and the cultivation of a benevolent state of mind. The practice is known for its benefits in increasing one’s capacity for empathy, reducing negative emotions, and enhancing overall well-being. It’s recommended to practice regularly, even if just for a few minutes each day, to experience its full effects.
Christopher Germer wrote, “compassion and loving-kindness are skills—not gifts that we’re either born with or not—and each one of us, without exception, can develop and strengthen these skills and bring them into our everyday lives” (Germer, 2009). Meditation on kindness is the beginning of this development. Of course, we must eventually take the topic of our mediation from the quiet world in our our mind into our noisy life of distractions.
The Thirteenth Practice in Mindfulness Training
Thích Nhất Hạnh lists the development of loving kindness one of the primary elements in mindfulness practice. He wrote:
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing, and oppression, we are committed to cultivating loving kindness and· learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants, and minerals. We will practice generosity by sharing our time, energy, and material –resources with those who are in need. (Hanh, 2005).
Practice
Here’s a brief overview of how it’s typically practiced:
- Find a Comfortable Position: Begin by sitting or lying down in a comfortable position where you can relax without falling asleep.
- Focus on the Breath: Start by bringing your attention to your breath, particularly the sensation of the breath at the belly, to help stabilize your mind (See Mindful Breathing).
- Generate Feelings of Loving-Kindness: Think of someone who has shown you kindness and imagine them wishing you happiness and well-being. Absorb this positive intention with each breath.
- Direct Loving-Kindness to Others: After focusing on receiving kindness, shift your attention to sending these feelings of loving-kindness to others. Start with someone close to you and gradually extend these wishes to a wider circle of individuals, including friends, acquaintances, and even those with whom you have difficulties.
- Use Phrases or Mantras: Silently repeat phrases that resonate with you, such as “May you be happy,” “May you be healthy,” or “May you live with ease,” directing these wishes towards yourself and others.
- Close with a Moment of Gratitude: Finish the meditation with a moment of gratitude for the opportunity to cultivate kindness and a sense of connection with others.
Benefits of Loving Kindness Meditation
Research suggests that regular practice of Loving Kindness Meditation may contribute to various psychological and physiological benefits. These can include reduced levels of stress, anxiety, and depression, increased empathy and compassion, improved self-esteem, and strengthened social connections.
The underlying hope is that the meditation will help foster expanding loving kindness in the practitioner. Loving kindness as a trait has many benefits.
We love problem solving. We have many tools at our fingertips. A few strokes on our smart phone and we can answer most of lives demands. Perhaps, we try to solve too many problems, seeking answers, purchasing anything that promises a cure to our illness. But problem solving isn’t always the answer. Most people don’t need our crummy advice; they need loving kindness. They don’t need to be fixed; just accepted. Samuel Johnson remarked, “Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.” We don’t have to agree. We may even grate on each other’s nerves. Some personality types clash. (see Dislike). Even while perturbed, we still can be kind—not pretend kindness; but wholesome respect. Seneca taught, “Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.”
Blessing Giver and Recipient
Kindness blesses both the recipient and the giver. The beneficial side effects of kindness return blessings on the giver ten-fold. Studies have found kind people live longer, have larger wages, and are better citizens. They are more likely to have the warm loving relationships necessary for continued growth throughout life. Kind people, on average, are better balanced and happier people.
Dissolving Differences with Loving Kindness
Kindness dissolves differences, giving the wisdom of understanding. When we give, our anger is softened, and our minds open to see the world from different angles. Defensive, retaliatory strikes lose purpose when we kindly see the world through the eyes of another. When we are kind to our partners, even during disagreements, we establish positive moral certainty. Through kindness we make their world safe. We show them through repeated action that their vulnerabilities will not be exploited. By establishing this foundational characteristic—a reputation of kindness—we remain credible even in moments of assertiveness.
Persistent kindness creates safety, giving them security, even in disagreement, that their dignity will be upheld, and their person respected. Safety in our important relationships may be the most crucial ingredient for mental health.
In Conclusion
Kindness is necessary to build love. So, the next time you clash, and fondness flees, don’t hate, be kind. We can give kindness—genuine kindness proceeding from respect, not some masked trickery to get our way, but compassionate caring for another being. Like ripples in a pond, kindness tends to carry forward, blessing others as the small waves move through time and space. Be kind.
Jack Kornfield wisely reminds that “the practices themselves are only vehicles for you to develop awareness, loving-kindness, and compassion on the path toward freedom” (Kornfield, 1993).
Loving Kindness Meditation offers a way to cultivate this compassionate outlook on life, fostering positive emotions and enhancing overall well-being. With its roots in ancient wisdom, this practice continues to resonate with individuals seeking to nurture kindness and empathy in themselves and towards others. Whether as a standalone practice or as part of a broader meditation routine, Loving Kindness Meditation has the potential to bring about profound and positive transformation.
Remember, consistent and sincere practice is essential to fully experience the benefits of this ancient meditation technique.
Last Update: February 28, 2024
References:
Germer, Christopher (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions. The Guilford Press; 1st edition.
Hanh, Thich Nhat (2005). Being Peace. Parallax Press; 2nd edition.
Kornfield, Jack (1993). A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life. Bantam. Read on Kindle Books.
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