My Amazing Discoveries in Wellness

Sometimes I smile, not out of condescension but rather in warm recognition of the jubilance and hope radiating from young minds embarking on their lengthy journeys toward wellness. Their enthusiasm reminds me of my own early explorations into this vast field, where each encounter feels like a revelation waiting to unfold. Throughout my journey, I’ve come across numerous discoveries related to wellness—none particularly earth-shattering yet all infused with personal significance. Observing these hopeful individuals energizes me and rekindles a sense of wonder that often fades with age. It is through their fresh perspectives that I find myself stepping away from the cynicism that can accompany late life; instead, I choose to embrace the present moment and its potential for growth.

However, what I’ve learned over time is that mastering wellness transcends merely reading books or finding oneself in a “good spot.” Life’s nature is dynamic; it constantly challenges our equilibrium and forces us to navigate through various ups and downs along the way. Wellness cannot be distilled into a simple formula or checklist—it involves an ongoing process of self-discovery, adaptation, and resilience.

The lessons I’ve gleaned emphasize that balance isn’t about achieving some ideal state but rather about understanding that we will inevitably experience fluctuations in our well-being. Learning how to scurry for recovery when knocked off balance becomes crucial; it’s within these moments of challenge that we cultivate strength and wisdom essential for personal growth. Ultimately, embracing this fluidity allows us to engage more authentically with ourselves and others as we traverse life’s unpredictable landscape together.

Explorations into Wellness

Here I am, nearly ten years into my exploratory journey into wellness. At the beginning, I honestly thought I would uncover the hidden secrets, write a book, and bring myself and tens of thousands of others to happier and more fulfilling lives. At times, I thought I was on the cusp of something big. In hindsight, my discoveries only scratched the surface of a massive universe of research, each stone overturned revealed more unknowns. Aristotle warned that “The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.” My search goes on.

I still haven’t discovered any marvelous secrets. My life is not pain free. I still experience sorrow. Our contentious country, struggling children, and declining health take a toll. Yet in many ways, my life has changed, improving materially and emotionally. I can’t give sole credit to my wellness investigation, but, perhaps, the knowledge has contributed. The wisdom of age is most likely the greater sage. I’m now content; something I wasn’t at the beginning of this incredible journey.

Somewhere I lost my youth. Innocent, starry eyed dreams shattered, smashed against unforgiving reality. Supertramp’s The Logical Song perfectly encapsulates my experience. Now, new dreams fill the emptiness. Please, don’t get me wrong, my life was not a disappointment. I was goal-driven—a good worker. Many of my childhood hopes came to pass in beautiful and satisfying ways; but not all of them.

My joys from achievement grandly burst on stage, igniting a storm of excitement, and then slowly melt away. The quick highs burn out, resetting to the accustomed emotional (homeostatic) balance. Chasing happiness, the hedonic version, keeping positive emotions always on stage, is a disappointing illusion.

Subjective Evaluations

Give me a life satisfaction survey after a great weekend with my wife, or a warm bonding session with one of my grandchildren and I will nail it. Best life ever. However, catch me on a down day and those cheery scores dip—significantly.

Measuring hedonic happiness through a subjective questioner is tricky—a little deceptive. Life decorated only with positive emotions isn’t the goal—at least not for me. I prefer something a little more encompassing. I subscribe to a wellness that stabilizes all my emotions, that is capable of enduring moments of sorrow, disappointment, or even pain. I’ve come to understand that discomforting affective states promote growth and enhance joy. I subscribe to a eudaimonic view of wellbeing.

Amidst the struggles and joys contentment is discovered. Emotions no longer scares me. I know that if I’m too upset, I won’t sleep well. My Kindle patiently waits to rescue me from those sleepless nights. The next day, I usually reset with new experiences that bring their own joys and sorrows. Fretting over emotions magnifies their power, so I’ve learned to accept, feel, explore.

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”

~Steve Jobs

The Circumstances of Our Lives

Life’s conditions do matter. Somewhere in positive psychology with the emphasis on the present moment, we lost sight of the significant role of external circumstances. Our worries intrude to motivate action. The we-should-be-happy-no-matter-what movement undermines evolutionary systems.

Real people experience pain from real events that need addressing. Violence, disease, and mental illness take a significant toll on wellbeing. Contentment is evasive when we are pained with an empty stomach. Choices do matter. We may need to escape an abusive partner. We may need better employment. Or we may need to address personal inadequacies. Our biological alarms sound when survival (and wellbeing) is at risk.

Many things have gone right for me over the last ten-years. Many fortunate circumstances contribute to my current wellness. My finances are set. I won’t be rich but certainly never destitute. I have a roof over my head, food on the table and a car in the driveway.

The previous decade was wracked with worry. The anxiety robbed me of many days, weeks, and months of wellness. Blessings, opportunities, and frugal living changed the daily grind. Now I spend thirty hours a week writing a wellness blog, something I enjoy but produces no income. For me to preach wellness, present myself as an example, to someone suffering in poverty, explaining they should be happy, is ignorant.

Relationships and Wellness

One of my greatest discoveries in wellness is the essential role of relationships. Relationships are essential part of the wellness equation. My relationships are set. I have my children, friends, and a wonderful wife. Each relationship brings its own blessings and challenges. However, there is contentment.

The ups and downs are mostly predictable. I’m occasionally caught off guard with by the timing of a disruption, but not by the magnitude. When conflicts arise, and we repair the disconnect and quickly move on. I learned being momentarily upset is a passing experience. Accordingly, I can regulate the emotion and tame my reaction. I can pause, soothe, and repair without unnecessary disruptions to important communications. I’m secure in the love I give and receive. Wellness, no matter how positive our thoughts, is hampered by drama infused relationships.

Life is a song – sing it.
Life is a game – play it.
Life is a challenge – meet it.
Life is a dream – realize it.
Life is a sacrifice – offer it.
Life is love – enjoy it.
~Sai Baba

Scientific Discoveries on Wellness

I still continue this search for human wellness—flourishing; except now, I no longer expect to put it together in tidy sentences and chapters. The complexities of my discoveries in wellness don’t neatly fit between two covers. The human mind is fascinating, deserving of exploration, igniting my passion. Perhaps, the engagement in a meaningful search contributes more to my wellbeing than the actual subject matter.

The wealth of wellness knowledge provides endless fodder for contemplation. I see many of the investigated theories in action, applicable to my own life and the lives of those around me. However, my mind is too finite to dissect the exact equation leading to late life contentment. Extracting the actions, beliefs, and practices that ultimately created this desirable end state is impossible. The infinite variables blur any coherent narrative. We have no control group for comparison. We simply must settle for the story that best settles our fears and propels us forward, understanding our personal narrative is limited in scope and not easily projected onto the lives of others.

I’m certain many psychological findings point the way to a better life. I’m fond of many. Roy Baumeister’s research on willpower, Martin Seligman’s work on optimism, John Gottman’s theories of relationship repair, Carl Rogers’ interpersonal psychology, Ellen Langer’s mindfulness, and countless others have influenced my thought, research, and life. I can’t, however, know the extent of the impact. Together, the theories provide an intertwining philosophy, nudging thought and creating my personal narrative.

Our Mind: A Self Governing Machine

Our mind operates as a remarkable, self-governing machine that plays an indispensable role in shaping our experiences and responses to the world around us.

Susan David wrote:

“Emotions, from blinding rage to wide-eyed love, are the body’s immediate physical responses to important signals from the outside world. When our senses pick up information—signs of danger, hints of romantic interest, cues that we’re being accepted or excluded by our peers—we physically adjust to these incoming messages. Our hearts beat faster or slower, our muscles tighten or relax, our mental focus locks onto the threat or eases into the warmth of trusted companionship” (David, 2016).

Each moment we encounter is filtered through a lens of previous knowledge, beliefs, and emotions. This ongoing process creates an intricate environment filled with diverse experiences that feed into our mental library. As we navigate life’s complexities, this library becomes essential for understanding and interpreting new situations. The abundance of information stored within allows the mind to unconsciously sort through memories and insights when faced with emotional turbulence or challenging circumstances. In essence, our past serves as a guiding framework that helps us make sense of present realities.

Moreover, the conscious effort we invest in learning—whether through reading, reflection, or engaging discussions—enriches this mental repository significantly. By actively seeking knowledge and exposure to various ideas and perspectives, we empower our minds to respond more adeptly during moments of distress or confusion. The beauty lies in how seamlessly these processes intertwine; while we consciously gather information about wellness or personal growth practices today, tomorrow’s challenges may trigger automatic responses based on what we’ve learned previously. Thus, the interplay between conscious work and unconscious processing forms a dynamic system that enhances not only our resilience but also our overall capacity for growth and adaptation throughout life’s journey.

Associated Concepts

Flourishing: This refers to a state of optimal well-being and fulfillment in various aspects of one’s life. It involves experiencing positive emotions, engaging in meaningful activities, cultivating strong relationships, and achieving a sense of purpose and personal growth.
Eudaimonia: A concept from positive psychology that refers to living a life of virtue, purpose, and meaning—beyond just pleasure or happiness.
Emotional Resilience: Good mental health supports emotional resilience, enabling individuals to cope with stress, adversity, and life’s challenges effectively. This resilience fosters a more positive outlook on life.
Self-Actualization: This is the process of realizing one’s potential and becoming the most that one can be, as proposed by Abraham Maslow.
PERMA Model: Developed by Martin Seligman, it stands for Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment—all vital elements of a fulfilling life.
Meaningful Life: This refers to living in a way that aligns with one’s values, beliefs, and passions. It often involves engaging in activities and relationships that bring a sense of fulfillment, purpose, and satisfaction.
Broaden and Build Theory: This Theory in positive psychology, proposed by Barbara Fredrickson, suggests that positive emotions broaden an individual’s thought-action repertoire, which in turn can build their personal resources over time.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

My goal for understanding wellness has undergone a significant transformation over time. Initially, I envisioned uncovering an ancient secret to wellness, perhaps concealed within the enigmatic depths of philosophical texts or hidden among the pages of historical psychology literature. I dreamt of leading a worldwide movement that would elevate humanity from the emotional turmoil and complexity often associated with living. However, through my explorations and personal experiences, I’ve come to realize that such grand aspirations may not be realistic or necessary. Instead of searching for elusive answers in distant philosophies, I’ve learned to embrace the intricacies of my own mental landscape—acknowledging that true wisdom lies not in finding definitive solutions but in navigating the complexities with grace.

As I continue this journey into the realm of wellness, my focus shifts toward cultivating a deeper understanding rather than seeking external validation or enlightenment. My discoveries have equipped me with tools to live comfortably amid uncertainties—the mental jungle filled with both light and shadow—and appreciate its rich tapestry without demanding clarity at every turn. In pursuing this baffling investigation over the next twenty years, my aim is not to shield myself from sorrow but rather to comprehend it fully; by doing so, I hope to enhance my capacity for joy and gratitude amidst life’s ups and downs. This nuanced approach allows me to savor moments more profoundly while recognizing that both happiness and sadness are integral parts of our human experience—a delicate balance worth exploring as we traverse our individual paths toward well-being.

Last Update: April 29, 2025

References:

David, Susan (2016). Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. Avery; First Edition. ISBN-10: 1592409490
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