Most of Us Possess Enough to Be Happy

For most, we already possess sufficient wealth for our needs. We have shelter over our heads, food to eat and reliable transportation to get us where we need to go; yet we continue to be haunted by a sense of lack, we want more.  If our happiness depends on a constant flow of new stuff, positions and affections, we will never be satisfied, stuck in an unfulfilling cycle.

Recently, I heard the same friend say in the same conversation, “I would do anything not to have credit card debt,” and, “I am learning to use this new iPad.”

​The desire for zero balance credit cards is admirable but the desire is disconnected from necessary action to realize that dream. She doesn’t desire to live within her means—she desires zero balances. The sense of lack drives her purchases; not a desire for financial stability. She doesn’t understand that the emptiness can’t be filled with an iPad, a car, or a house.

See Materialism and Happiness for more on this topic

Benefits of Having Gratitude

Cultivating gratitude can have a wide range of benefits for both mental and physical health. Here are some of the key benefits:

• Increased Happiness: Regularly practicing gratitude can lead to higher levels of positive emotions and satisfaction with life.
• Improved Physical Health: Grateful people often experience better health, sleep well, and may even have lower levels of inflammation.
• Enhanced Resilience: Gratitude helps in developing greater resilience, enabling individuals to bounce back from stressful situations and adversity.
• Reduced Materialism: Those who practice gratitude tend to be less materialistic and more content with what they have.
• Strengthened Relationships: Expressing gratitude can improve relationships by increasing feelings of connectedness and satisfaction.
• Decreased Negative Emotions: Gratitude can reduce feelings of envy, resentment, and regret, leading to a more optimistic outlook.
• Better Mental Health: It has been linked to reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety over time.
• Increased Prosocial Behavior: Grateful people are more likely to engage in behaviors that benefit others, such as helping, volunteering, or expressing compassion.
• Improved Self-Esteem: Gratitude can enhance self-esteem by reducing social comparisons and increasing a sense of self-worth.
• Boosted Career Benefits: It may lead to increased job satisfaction and a better working environment by promoting positive social interactions and appreciation among colleagues (Miller, 2019).

These benefits highlight how gratitude can positively impact various aspects of life, from personal well-being to social relationships and professional environments.

Market Economy and Glorification of Accumulation

Many motivational gurus pester our self-disciplines with outrageous claims of a benevolent universe, anxious to bestow unlimited abundance to those who simply ask. This misleading message distracts from the more sustainable joys achieved through sufficiency. I contend, since the “secret” has been out now for over a decade, we would expect an unusually large influx of new wealth, joyful achievers that are living in abundance. But this has not been the case. Either the world is full of skeptics, like me, or the secret of ‘being given just for asking’ is bunk.

​A few years following the publishing of this best-selling book (The Secret), the world was shocked with a painful recession, many believers lost their houses, retirements and employment. The universe doesn’t give a darn about our happiness. Many other factors contributed to the recessions and collapse of the mortgage industry—greed being among the more notable causes.

There is a hungry market of consumers scavenging for morsels of hope to fill their sense of lack.

Having and Being

True satisfaction doesn’t come from “having” but in “being.” A being living in present moment acceptance changes the relationship between want and drive. A being that feels abundance in their current state quenches their constant thirst for more.

Driven by lack, we constantly seek more, chasing happiness at a frenzied pace. The underlying urge to accumulate infects and shapes our society. Missing out grates on our moods and destroys the happiness we hoped we would find. When the idealistic life fails to materialize, we cheat. We cheat at work, we cheat in relationships and we cheat in finances. Like Enron and World.com, foundations built on falsehoods eventually crumble, hurting innocent people with the devastating collapse. Instead of solving discontent, we deepen the problems.

Enhancing Pleasure or Optimal Well-Being

Erich Fromm wrote that none of the great masters from history were concerned about enhancing pleasure. He explained they “were concerned with humankind’s optimal well-being. The hedonistic principle of motivations suggests we chase pleasure and avoid pain. We do but we shouldn’t be so focused on present pleasures that we destroy well being.

Fromm proclaims: “Greed and peace preclude each other.” Greed continually feeds the emotional discomfort of lack while peace feeds the calming feeling of satisfaction.

Fromm explains:

“The development of this economic system was no longer determined by the question ; what is good for man? But by the question: what is good for the growth of the system? One tried to hide the sharpness of this conflict by making the assumption that what was good for the growth of the system (or even the big corporation) was also good for the people” (Fromm, 2013).

Our economic system, commercials, social networks loudly broadcast we lack therefore we are unhappy. When is reality it is the belief that we lack that is making us unhappy. We are not grateful for what we have and it grates on our well being.

Satisfaction and Well Being

Several years ago, a news report exposed a professional basketball player’s greed. He demanded more than the offered five-million-dollar single season contract. He complained the offer was ridiculous, “He had a family to feed.” His angry dissatisfaction illustrates the difficulty with feeling satisfied. Soon a want becomes a need, and without it we feel deprived. There is always more. At what point are we satisfied?

Satisfaction doesn’t magically accompany more. Most can’t comprehend Sprewell’s argument, compared to our meager salaries, most would jump at the five-million-dollar offer, believing they would be grateful and fulfilled. But once obtained, the sinister demon of lack returns. We lift our sights higher, noticing the other wonderful things that are missing—the things we don’t have. In psychology, we refer to this as relative deprivation.

Daniel Gilbert wrote:

“Future events may request access to our emotional areas of our brains, but current events almost always get in the way” (Gilbert, 2007).

When we contemplate, a five million-dollar contract, we see it from our current poverty. Naturally, this invokes great pleasure. We perceive future achievement from the lack of the moment, but when the moment arrives we perceive it from a much different angle, losing the same joys we predicted. 

Gratitude Instead of Greed

Fromm effectively argues that happiness grows from attention to ‘being’ rather than the shallowness of having. Our banks accounts dwindle with spending while our state of being expands with outward expressions. The value of property diminishes, losing value with time, while virtues traits compound and grow.

Part of the solution is exchanging gratitude for the greed, gratefully acknowledging the blessings of our lives. And accordingly our well being will expand.

Brené Brown interviewed thousands of people in her research, she learned:

“Without exception, every person I interviewed who described living a joyful life or who described themselves as joyful, actively practiced gratitude and attributed their joyfulness to their gratitude practice. Both joy and gratitude were described as spiritual practices that were bound to a belief in human interconnectedness and a power greater than us” (Brown, 2022).

Changing habitual thoughts (and feelings) is difficult. Water effortlessly flows through previously dug canals. Our minds naturally wander down the same paths of the past. Changing the flow requires intentional effort to redirect. Where the mind wanders, emotions follow. Marketing companies capitalize on the predicted emotions of lack, planting seeds of want, promising refreshing fulfillment. Marketers cunningly convince that their product will make our lives better, supplying faulty gadgets promised to satisfy lack.

Practices to Increase Gratitude

We must end this; being fooled no more by combating false claims with effort to engage in healthy practices. Increasing feelings of gratitude can have a profound impact on your overall well-being.

A proven practice with great success for improving well being is acknowledge blessings. Gratitude creates feelings of abundance and accordingly improves well being. A gratitude journal brings attention to the surrounding goodness that we already enjoy. Some meditate, focusing on blessings, while others offer gratitude prayers.

Strategies:

• Keep a Gratitude Journal: Regularly write down things you’re thankful for. This can shift your focus to positive aspects of your life.
• Reflect on the Positive: Spend time thinking about good experiences and what they mean to you.
• Express Gratitude to Others: Make it a habit to thank people in your life for the big and small things they do.
• Mindful Appreciation: Take moments throughout your day to appreciate your surroundings and the people you interact with.
• Gratitude Meditation: Practice meditation focused on feeling grateful for the abundance in your life.
• Volunteer: Giving back to the community can increase feelings of gratitude by helping you see the impact you can have on others’ lives.
• Gratitude Prompts: Use prompts to think about different aspects of your life you might be grateful for, such as relationships, opportunities, or personal growth.
• Reframe Challenges: Try to see difficult situations as opportunities for learning and growth.

All these practices change attitudes, loosening the grip of lack. However, like any skill, gratitude takes practice. If we don’t mindfully recognize what we have, we will be nagged by what we lack. Step back and be grateful.

Associated Concepts

• Quiet Ego: This refers to a state of being where an individual possesses a healthy sense of self-worth and self-esteem without needing to constantly assert their superiority or seek validation from others.
• Inner Peace: This is a state of mental and emotional calmness, characterized by a sense of serenity, tranquility, and freedom from inner turmoil. It’s a feeling of being at peace with oneself, regardless of external circumstances.
• Compulsive Buying Disorder: This is a chronic, repetitive impulse control disorder characterized by an uncontrollable urge to purchase goods despite serious negative consequences.
• Noble Eightfold Path: This is a fundamental concept in Buddhism. It provides a framework for healthy living, consisting of interconnected aspects like Right View, Right Intention, and others. It leads to the cessation of suffering and enlightenment.
• Three Orientations for Enjoying Life: These refer to mindsets and approaches that prioritizes finding joy, fulfillment, and contentment in various aspects of life. We can find joy through anticipation of the future, pleasure in the moment, and delighting in the past.
• Broaden-and-Build Theory: This theory suggests that positive emotions broaden one’s awareness and encourage novel, varied, and exploratory thoughts and actions. Over time, this broadened behavioral repertoire builds skills and resources.
• PERMA Model: Positive Emotions are one of the five elements of the PERMA model, which stands for Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. Uplifting emotions are seen as a prime indicator of flourishing and can be cultivated to improve well-being.

A Few Words by Psychology Fanatic

In conclusion, the pursuit of happiness is a journey that is often mistakenly directed towards external achievements and material possessions. However, the true essence of contentment lies in embracing gratitude and acceptance of the present moment. By shifting our focus from what we lack to the abundance we already possess, we begin to uncover a wealth of fulfillment that is rooted in our ability to ‘be’ rather than ‘have.’ Through the simple yet profound practice of gratitude—whether it be through journaling, reflection, or the expression of appreciation—we enhance our overall well-being, reduce materialistic tendencies, and fortify our mental health and relationships.

As we navigate through life, let us remember that we can’t find true happiness in the endless chase for external validations, but within the serene acceptance of who we are and what we have in the here and now. The power of gratitude transforms our perspective, allowing us to savor the richness of life and cultivate a sense of inner peace. By consistently practicing gratitude, we create a foundation for lasting contentment, proving that fulfillment is indeed a state of ‘being’ rather than ‘having.’ This realization becomes a transformative force, guiding us towards a life of deeper joy and satisfaction.