Introduction: The Cost of Impulsiveness

The impulsive personality faces major obstacles; not because they are bad but because they are impulsive. Impulsive people withdraw value from futures for rewards in the present. They struggle to delay gratification. They fail to wait for something better.

​The golden harvest provides wealth at the end of the season, after plowing, seeding, weeding and nurturing. The gentle stalks of the future require kindness and patience to mature. No matter the inclinations, we are subject to these natural laws; better futures demand sacrifice of some of our present enjoyments.

Growth is a Continual Process

Personal growth is not a static destination to be reached, but rather a dynamic and continual process that unfolds throughout our lives. It’s a journey of constant learning, adaptation, and development, marked by ongoing self-discovery and the evolution of our perspectives, skills, and character. Just as the world around us is in constant flux, so too are our inner landscapes, requiring us to continuously engage in introspection, seek new knowledge, and refine our understanding of ourselves and our place in the world. This ongoing nature of growth means there’s always room to evolve, to become more resilient, compassionate, and aligned with our values, regardless of our current stage in life.

Charles Carver and Michael Scheier explain:

“Human behavior is a continual process of moving toward, and away from, various kinds of mental goal representations, and that this movement occurs by a process of feedback control. Behavior is the consequence of an internal guidance system inherent in the way living beings are organized. The guidance system regulates a quality of experience that’s important to it. For that reason, we refer to the guidance process as a system of self-regulation” (Carver & Scheier, 2017).

This continuous process is fueled by both intentional effort and the inevitable experiences that life presents. We actively seek growth through learning new skills, pursuing personal goals, and engaging in self-reflection. However, growth also arises from navigating challenges, overcoming setbacks, and adapting to unforeseen circumstances. These experiences, while sometimes difficult, offer invaluable opportunities for learning and strengthening our inner resources. Recognizing personal growth as a continuous journey allows us to embrace change, cultivate a mindset of lifelong learning, and appreciate the ongoing evolution of who we are becoming.

Enjoying the Process of Change

The dreadful wait for an unrecognized future becomes less problematic when we enjoy the process of development and growth. Constant displeasure in the present gnaws on self-discipline, blurs dreams, and eventually leads to seeking a simpler path. Many bored of waiting for better eventually tire, focused on the treat, they indulge in the moment while ignoring the lost rewards of waiting. Many blessings are available to those who are more future minded in critical moments of temptation.

The further we drift from actions that move us toward obtainable goals, the more we are tempted by unsubstantiated magical promises. When our debts loom large, we buy lottery tickets, make risky investments, or find distraction with purposeless amusements, escaping the torment and relieving the anxiety of worrying over the future.  Our failure to honor invites a continue flow of disappointments. We get sucked into a destructive cycle.

Joys and Sorrows in the Present

The present isn’t that bad. The present, with all its limitations, doesn’t need to be viewed as a padded and bolted dungeon. Searching through human history, we discover most people worked hard to survive, without time to devote to creating happiness and ease. A vast majority of our ancestors were not living in majestic courts, supported by the labors of the commoners.

​Our ancestors worked and worked hard. The bountiful harvest wasn’t found but earned. The human spirit experiences life different than simple survival, we do more than work, seek shelter, eat and die. There is richness to life—a liveliness to the emotions bursting inside our chests. We experience joys, sorrows and pleasures. We find meaning. The present is formed in our heads, taking tasks and conditions, and creating meaning, labeling the present as desirable or deplorable.

Associated Concepts

• Achievement-Goal Theory: This theory is a psychological framework that explores the effectiveness of goals. It posits that an individual’s beliefs about their abilities and the motivations behind their actions shape their behavior.
• Self-Cultivation: This refers to a deliberate and conscious effort of improving oneself through various practices, activities, and experiences. It involves the pursuit of personal growth, self-awareness, and self-improvement in different aspects of life, such as physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
• Progress Principle: This principle emphasizes the positive impact of small wins on motivation and well-being, leading to increased productivity, creativity, job satisfaction, and overall success.
• Fear of Failure: This refers to the anxiety or apprehension related to the anticipation of failing at a task or in a specific situation. It can lead individuals to avoid taking risks or attempting new challenges due to the perceived negative consequences of failing.
• Self-Efficacy Theory: Proposed by Albert Bandura, this theory emphasizes the belief in one’s ability to succeed in specific situations. It’s related to social support in that support from others can enhance an individual’s self-efficacy.
• Tipping Point: This refers to the critical moment when a small change or series of changes reaches a level that leads to a significant impact or transformation. It can represent the threshold at which a situation, behavior, or decision crosses from one state to another, often resulting in a notable shift or consequence.
• Life Trajectories: This refer to the course and pattern of an individual’s life experiences, including their development, relationships, and achievements over time.

A Few Words from Psychology Fanatic

We shouldn’t dread the required work of the present. We can enjoy the process of becoming. The extent of the harvest remains unknown. When we prepare, work, do the right things, and wait for better. The consequences (harvest) eventually materialize. Blessing our lives and lives of those around us.

The kids in the marshmallow study who waited for the second marshmallow didn’t sadly sit and stare at the forbidden treat. They succeeded by keeping themselves busy with other things. We can learn from this. Instead of obsessing over what we don’t have right now, we need to get up and get busy. Be purposeful in what we do, by taking part in creative and constructive activities. This purposeful action not only makes the present enjoyable, but also shapes the future.